It's a Man's World
by SilverSteeleandGrey
Summary: With his father overseas, Andrew is sent to live with his mother in Nevada. But when she remarries an egotistical man with no boundaries, Andy decides to leave. Enrolling himself in an all-boys school in Washington, Andy feels assured his mother and stepfather won't find him. After all why would they look for a girl in an all-boys school? I don't own 50 shades of Grey. OOC. AU.
1. Boy meets Girl

**Chapter One—Boy Meets Girl**

"And what's your name again?" Principal O'Brien asks as he looks at me with his light green eyes and thinning red hair.

"An—Andrew, sir. Andrew Steele, but I prefer Andy," I tell him in the deepest voice I can muster.

Principal O'Brien looks up me for a moment and then down at the paperwork in his hands.

"Well, I must say this is very unusual, and Rieslings Academy doesn't usually accept students without their paperwork and a parent or guardian present." He pauses and looks at me. "But considering this peculiar situation and the fact that my assistant has seemed to irresponsibly misplace your application, I'll make this one exception."

I lean forward and release the breath I had been holding since I sat in front of his desk. I wait expectantly as leans back in his chair and his mouth slowly stretches into a smile.

"Welcome to Rieslings Academy, Mr. Steele," Principal O'Brien says, standing up and holding out his hand.

I stand too, taking his hand in mine and giving it what I hope is a firm shake. "Thank you, sir," I say.

He nods his head and takes his seat again. "Mrs. Kelly in Student Services will supply your schedule and room number. Classes start Monday. I expect great things from you, Mr. Steele."

I pick up my book bag and suitcase, throwing the strap of my book bag over my shoulder while the handle of my suitcase is gripped tightly in my hand. Giving him a sharp nod of my head, I say, "I won't let you down, sir."

He gives me a small smile, dismissing me and I leave his office in a rush, anxious to get away from him as if I stay in his presence too long he'll realize I'm a Miss instead of a Mister. In my haste to get away from the principal's office as if I'd done something wrong, I don't pay attention to where I'm walking and smash right into a hard body in front of me.

I fall back straight on my ass with a thud, and since my book bag wasn't zipped up all the way a few of my notebooks and folders splatter across the floor.

"Ow," I whine, my backside throbbing with my unexpected fall.

"Oh, are you okay?" A large hand comes into my line of sight. "That was my fault, I wasn't watching where I was walking."

I take the strangers hand, letting him assist me to my feet and when I look up at him to speak, my words die in my mouth. My eyes meet dark grayish-blue ones with dark eyelashes making his eyes glow brighter. My eyes roam the rest of his face and I can't help but admire his high cheekbones, full lips and reddish-brown floppy hair. Holy Batman and Robin. He's gorgeous, so gorgeous in fact that I realize I've been too busy staring at him instead of getting to Students Services.

"S-sorry," I stutter.

He looks at me with a frown, his eyes scrutinizing me. I almost face palm myself when I realize I'm supposed to be a guy. _Duh, Ana. Jeez he's just a boy, get over yourself. It's not like he'll want your cross-dressing self!_

Shaking myself out of my deranged thoughts, I clear my throat and attempt to deepen my voice and salvage the reputation I haven't even built up yet.

"I mean, uh, sorry, bro. I didn't see you, uh, coming, and you know. Yeah."

He looks at me like I'm crazy and I feel like a complete idiot. "Right," he mutters slowly. "So here's your stuff." He pushes my notebooks and folders into my arms. "Gotta go."

He stalks off in the direction he was headed without a second glance back. I hang my head and groan, feeling like I've just made a complete fool in front of the hottest guy I've ever seen. Shaking my head, I stand up straight, and with a heavy sigh make my way to Student Services to get my class and room info.

After leaving Student Services and the lovely Mrs. Kelly, I head over to the dormitory's and search for my room. Entering a long hallway, I look at the numbers beside each door painted a dark blue and look back down at my paper.

"129. 130. 131. 132. And 133."

I take a deep breath as I put my hand on the door handle and slip the key inside the lock. This room will basically be my home for the next nine and a half months and I'm a little nervous. I don't know if I'm more nervous about what to expect behind the thick wooden doors or who my roommate is going to be.

Closing my eyes and taking another deep breath, I pull out my key after hearing it unlock and slowly turn the handle. Pushing it open, I feel myself being lured into a lemon smelling dimly-lit room. When I open my eyes the first thing I see is the large window across from the door, the view showing nothing but the Washington wilderness.

A movement to the left of me catches my eye and my gaze shifts over, and for the second time today I feel like a complete idiot. There sitting on a full sized bed are three guys, one of those said guys the one I ran into earlier.

For a moment I just stare at them not knowing really what to do, and then I muster courage from somewhere deep, deep inside me and step further inside the room, closing the door behind me.

"Uh, hey," I say in my dude voice.

All of them stare at me for a moment, and then a blond hair guy with the darkest green eyes I've ever seen speaks up first.

"You must be Christian's new roommate," he says with a smile, and for some reason the way his lips are curling up put me on edge. "I'm Ethan Kavanagh. This is Colten Dawson." He points to the other boy with black hair and dark blue eyes. "And this," he says gesturing to Christian, I assume, "is your roommate, Christian Grey."

I nod at them. "Andrew Steele," I tell them, walking closer to the bed that seems to be unoccupied and dropping my bags onto them. "But I prefer Andy."

"So, Andy," Ethan begins, "Where ya from?"

"Uh, Nevada," I answer, turning towards them. I look at Ethan but my eyes seem to naturally draw toward Christian's.

I catch Colten looking at me up and down, an unpleased frown on his face. "You look kinda pale to be from Nevada," he rudely comments.

I try to keep down my urge to give him a dirty look. "Well it's not like it was always sunny or I spent all my time outside," I remark.

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever."

 _What an ass._

"Have you gotten your schedule already?" Ethan asks me.

I look at him and nod my head, holding the piece of paper in my hand. He leans over and pulls the white paper from my grasp and unfolds it. I watch as his eyes scan over it.

"Oh, you have first and fourth period with us." He glances over at Christian and Colten, a look I don't comprehend passing between them. He looks back down at my schedule. "Hmm, it looks like they made a mistake here. Mrs. Owen's class isn't in Jackson Hall anymore. Yeah, they changed it last minute. Health class will now be in Lincoln Hall, room 212. Right, guys?"

He looks over at his friends and both of them nod their heads in agreement. Ethan hands me back my schedule and I look down at my fourth period class where it says in black in white _Health and Wellness Jackson Hall Room 102_. I look back up at the boys staring expectantly at me as I decide whether or not to believe them. My eyes pass over all of theirs, and while I don't really trust Colten or the weird way Ethan keeps smiling at me, I can't really think of a logical reason as to why they'd be lying to me.

So shrugging my shoulders, I nod my head and mutter, "Okay." Taking out my pen from my book bag, I put a line through the previous class room number and building and write down the correct one. When I look back up at the guys, Ethan and Colten are grinning at me almost snidely while Christian is just passively staring at me.

Before I can say anything Ethan and Colten stand up and walk towards the door.

"Well, I think we should let you two settle in, dontcha think, Colten?" Ethan looks at Colten with expectant eyes. Colten nods his head enthusiastically. "We'll see you later, Christian. Nice meeting you, Andy."

And with that. Both Ethan and Colten leave the room, closing the door behind them and leaving me alone with Christian. Since I'm not sure what to really say to him at the moment, I turn my back on him and begin unpacking my things.

"That dresser over there is yours."

I turn around and look towards the dark wood dresser Christian is pointing to. I take a quick glance at him only to find him looking at me, then turning away quickly.

"Um, okay, thanks," I mutter.

"Yeah," he answers gruffly. "And that door leads to the bathroom."

I look towards the open door that leads to the dark small room. "Cool," I say.

"And just so we're clear, I don't like sharing things. So if you keep to your side, I'll keep to mine and we won't have any problems."

I turn around to look at him, only to find him half way through the door, closing it roughly behind him. I frown. _What the hell is his problem?_

Shaking my head and not even trying to bother contemplating why my roommate seems to have a disinterest in me when he doesn't know me, I finish unpacking my things and get my stuff organized. I'm glad that I have a night stand with deep drawers where I can hide my toiletries. I would keep them in the bathroom, but I'd rather not have my male roommate find them and ask me, a person who's supposed to be a guy, why I have tampons.

 _How awkward would that be?_

After putting all my things away and getting my school supplies organized I fall on top the plush full bed and just take a moment to relax. The next time I open my eyes I look at the clock and see that it's already past five in the evening. I shoot up in bed. _Did I really sleep for four hours?_ I just closed my eyes for one minute!

Rubbing my eyes I slide out of bed and walk to the bathroom, my body feeling languid from sleep. I put my hand on the door handle, and just as I'm turning the knob I feel the door being pulled open, and I surge forward with it, losing my footing with the unexpected movement.

I fall forward, landing on something hard, but not as hard as I would have expected the floor to be. When I open my eyes, I find myself staring straight into the most beautiful blue-gray eyes I've ever seen. I feel my mouth fall open as steam bellows around us and my short hair begins to stick to my forehead.

"Dude, what the fuck? Get off me!" Christian yells at me.

I look down and realize I'm straddling him, my thighs encasing his hips and my arms on either side of his well-toned chest.

"I—I—I'm so sorry!" I squeak, and then cringe when I realize it was too girly.

I inwardly groan and scramble to get away from him. When we're both standing I make an effort to explain that it wasn't my intention to purposely fall on top him.

"You—I—the door—then we—on top of you," I inarticulately blabber as my face burns hot with a fire engine red blush of embarrassment.

"Just stay away from me, okay?" he says, his voice low while he gives me a weird look.

I watch as he walks towards his dresser, a white towel around his waist. And in an effort to not embarrass myself anymore I rush into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I push my back up against the door and slide down to the floor my head in my hands.

Taking a deep breath, my nostrils fill with his masculine body wash and the remnants of the steam from the hot water. With my eyes closed, I lean my head against the hard door and shake my head.

"Well I'm definitely getting off to a good start," I mutter sarcastically to myself.

With a loud sigh and an eye roll directed at myself, I stand and strip, hoping that a hot shower will wash away the embarrassment and stress of the day. I can't really afford to screw up and have the threat of being sent home hanging over my head. I will never go back to that place if I have anything to do with it.

 **This story is based off the movie She's the Man but with my own twist. I've had this story line going through my head distracting me for a couple weeks, so I'm finally deciding to post.**

 **If you don't like the story, take advantage of your God-given right to think and stop reading it. It makes absolutely no sense to continue reading a story that you don't like.**

 **Review if you want. I don't mind respectful criticism, but if you disrespect me I'll have no problem putting you in your place. This is a bully-free zone, so if all of you respect me then I'll respect you.**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	2. Fours a Crowd

**Chapter Two—Fours a Crowd**

I sigh when I hear my alarm blaring at me to wake up, and reaching over to the side of my bed I slam my hand down on the snooze button and snuggle under my covers. What only feels like a second later my alarm goes off again and knowing it will be futile to try to go back to sleep, I turn off my alarm and slide out of bed.

I rub the sleep out of my eyes and stand to go to the bathroom, but immediately halt in my place when I realize that I'm not back in my room at my mother's house. Swiveling my head towards Christian's bed, I see that his bed is made and he's not in it. I turn to the bathroom, hoping he's not in there because I really have to pee, and am relieved when I see the door open and the light off.

After relieving myself I brush my teeth and start getting ready for my first day of class. Considering that I came here only with a small suitcase and a book bag filled with supplies, I don't have much to wear other than a few pairs of jeans and a couple of old t-shirts. I thank God that Westwood Prep requires a uniform otherwise I'd being wearing the same cheap outfit every day.

I should get a job. One so I'll have more money, and two so I won't have any more embarrassing moments where I crash into Christian, or any other boy for that matter.

With my green and gold plaid uniform that looks like vomit on, and my straggly pixie cut hair as tame as I could get it, I throw my back bag over my shoulder and make my way to class.

* * *

So far my day has been pretty . . . unexpected, well as unexpected as going to an all-boys school can get. I haven't really made any new friends, and I don't know if that has more to do with the fact I'm not sure how to be friends with a guy while I'm disguised as a guy, or if the guys at this school don't like me. Both scenarios don't bother me, as long as my mother and that ogre don't find me, I'll be happy either way.

Third period is over and lucky me, I get to spend fifty minutes in health class with my roommate and his beyond weird friends. I pull out my schedule from my pocket to see where health class is at again and accidentally bump into someone, inadvertently making them drop their stuff from their hold.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there and I was trying to get my schedule form my pocket and then you were—"

A deep laugh cuts me off and I trail my eyes up to come face to face with a blond god. He's gorgeous, well not as gorgeous as Christian but gorgeous nonetheless. His short blond hair looks soft enough that a cloud would be envious, and the adorable dimples in his cheek when he smiles makes me feel weak in the knees. He's tall and muscular, but not bulky. And good Lord, those eyes. They're a hunter green, so dark and deep and beautiful. I could see myself falling in love with this incredible male specimen.

"No problems, dude," he says with a smile as he bends down to pick up his books. My eyes naturally find his round rump, and Zeus high up in Olympus, I could take a bite out of it and it would still look perfect, deformed, but perfect. "I'm Luke, by the way, well Lucas Sawyer, but Luke."

He holds out his hand for me and I take a moment to look at his large hand, then his face and then his hand again. He tilts his head to the side at my awkward inspection, and when I realize what a dork I'm being I pull myself out of my stupor and grip his hand, a little bit too hard, might I add.

Clearing my throat and mustering my best dude voice, I say, "Uh, nice to meet you, Luke. I'm Andrew Steele, but go by Andy."

He nods his head at me, that gorgeous smile on his face again. "Nice to meet you too. So where are you headed?"

He looks down at the schedule in my hand and a frown replaces his innocent smile.

"I have Health and Wellness this period, too, but it's not Jackson Hall. From what I can recall it's still in Lincoln Hall." He looks up at me with narrowed eyes. "Who told you it was in Jackson Hall?"

I open my mouth to speak, but then decide against it, deciding if I really want to tattle on my roommate's friends. I guess it really doesn't matter, especially now that Luke seems to have figured it out for me.

"Oh, you're roommates with Christian Grey?" he says, looking down at my schedule where it lists who I'll be living with for the semester. "Let me guess, Ethan and Colten told you fourth period was in Jackson Hall?" I don't even answer him as he continues on talking. "Figures, they're such childish pricks, I mean Christian is cool sometimes, but Ethan and Colten are bullies. Don't worry, I got your back."

He flashes another quick smile at me then turns around and disappears inside the room two doors down. I follow him, and my eyes instantly find Christian's. He was talking to his friends when I walked in, and when he saw me, he immediately closed his mouth and stared at me, causing Colten and Ethan to turn to look at me too. Ethan smirks at me while Colten scowls at me, but Christian just stares at me with an impassive stare.

 _Seriously, what's the dude's problem? I thought_ I _was weird._

"Hey, Andy, over here!"

I look towards the back of the room where my name was called and see Luke and another guy sitting towards the back. I turn away from Christian and walk down the aisle towards the seat Luke has apparently reserved for me.

"Andy this is Drew Reynolds, Drew this is Andy, the new kid."

Yeah, it's always nice as being introduced as the new kid. High school is such a joy.

"Hey, man, what's going on?" Drew asks as I take a seat next to Luke and across from Drew.

"Um, not much other than being here with you guys, in Health class, you know, in this all-boys school."

Drew looks at Luke from the corner of his eye and Luke bursts out laughing.

"Nice way stating the obvious, bro," Luke says with a chuckle. He turns to Drew. "I told you he's pretty funny . . . and awkward, no offense," he adds with a glance at me.

I shrug my shoulders. I was born awkward and have had sixteen years to accept it. "None taken."

Drew looks at me. "So where did you move from?"

"Las Vegas."

His brows rise up almost to his hairline. "Really? Why did your family come here?"

I ignore the fact that he said family, and answer his question as vaguely as possible.

"Things just weren't working out there," I mutter with a half shrug.

"Well, I hope everything works out better for you here," Luke says.

I look at him and smile. "Thanks." I really hope everything works out here too. I don't ever want to go back to that place, or to a mother who'd believe a man she's known a few years over the daughter she's known since conception.

"Soo, you're really skinny. We need to get you buffed up, especially if you're roommates with Christian."

I frown. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Drew shrugs. "His so-called friends can get pretty nasty sometimes. I just think it'd be a good idea to strengthen up just in case they try something."

I feel my heart rate spike and my palms begin to sweat. I take a glance over in Christian's direction to see him scowling at us, and once he catches my eye he rapidly faces forward again. His two goons are in their own oblivious world talking about only Lucifer knows what.

 _Why does Christian keep looking back here? And why does he always look so pissed?_

"Yeah, last roommate Christian had, Colten and Ethan scared off because they felt threatened that Christian was choosing him over them."

I feel my heart rate kick up even higher. "What did they do to him?" I ask.

Drew shakes his head in obvious disgust. "Pinned something on him to get him expelled, and until they came up with that plan I heard that were constantly bullying him. They disgrace the male species."

"Just watch your back with them," Luke tells me. "They're pettier than girls."

Wow, thanks for that, bro.

Before I can ask anything else, our teacher struts in and begins lecture, but my mind is elsewhere. Since when are guys this malicious and mean? I internally roll my eyes. Guys have been mean since the beginning of time, but since when are they so petty?

My eyes slowly trail over to Christian and his friends. Colten and Ethan always look more involved in their group friendship than Christian does. Since I've gotten here, two days ago, I've never seen him laugh or smile the way Ethan and Colten do.

He doesn't really even seem happy. So I wonder why he's even friends with them, especially if he knows they're bullies. Maybe he's a bully, too, and is just low key about it. Either way I don't want to find out. I think I'll just bid my time and stay far away as possible from Christian and his comrades and just hang out with Luke and Drew.

But when Christian turns around and looks directly into my eyes with that impassive stare, I realize that it might be a little harder than I would like to avoid him.

 **Thank you all for the lovely reviews, follows and favorites. It's your eagerness to read on that keeps me writing ;)**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	3. Boys will be Boys

**Chapter Three—Boys Will be Boys**

When I'm done with all my classes, Drew and Luke ask me to hang out with them before we left fourth period. And being the girl I am, I didn't feel like dealing with mean boys, so I readily agreed.

They told me to meet them up at the courtyard when all my classes we're finished, and wanting to change out of the itchy uniform, I decide to go change into my more comfortable clothes. When I get to my dorm, I'm thankful to see that no one's sitting on Christian's bed, waiting to make fun of me.

Tossing my shirt over my head, I change faster than I ever had in my life to avoid being caught wearing panties and a wrap to suppress my somewhat decent sized boobs. I'm just pulling my jeans over my butt when I hear the door open. In my haste to turn around and pull up my pants at the same time, I end up losing my balance and tripping over my own feet only to fall to the ground and hitting my head on my night stand in the process.

"Ow, ow, ow!" I moan as I lay on the ground with my palm over my forehead.

I feel a shadow looming over me and feel his presence before I've opened my eyes.

"Ooo, that looks really bad. Are you okay?" I hear his dreamy deep voice ask.

I squint one eye open and look up at him, thinking he's even more gorgeous upside down.

"Uhh, I . . . um . . . yeah, cool. I mean, yeah, I'm fine," I mutter sitting up and gently rubbing my fingers over my now sore forehead.

I sit up against the drawers of my night stand with my eyes closed as I will the pain to go away. When I open my eyes and look up again, I'm startled to see Christian squatting in front of me with a weird look on his face.

I frown at him, and then quickly look around in confusion. "What?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything for a moment and then slowly asks, "Why were you wearing pink underwear?"

My face burns bright red, and feeling mortified that he saw my underwear, I stand up completely ungracefully, kneeing him in the chin.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I just—I didn't mean to do that, I swear!" I stutter as I reach out to help and then retract my hands knowing I'll probably end up hurting him more.

He stands up with his hand on his jaw, rubbing away the pain. I have to basically crane my head back just to look up at him. I mean come on, he's sixteen or seventeen, why is he so freaking tall? On second thought why am I so freaking short?

"So?" he asks.

I look up at him with startle, confused eyes. "So, what?"

"Why were you wearing pink—were those panties?"

My face burns again, and I turn away from him. "Um, I don't, uh, know, I like to feel supported, and you know, I don't like to feel myself . . . swinging around . . . and, um, actually I have to go. Luke and Drew are waiting for me. See you later. Bye!"

I practically run to the door, slamming it behind me and taking a moment to calm myself, I lean against the door and put my face in my hands. I can still feel myself blushing like a catholic school girl talking about sex.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ You don't like to feel yourself _swinging_ around? What the hell was that? _I wonder if they really do swing around?_ Ugh, not the point! I just completely humiliated myself and I know Christian is going to think I'm ten times weirder than he thought before.

There is no possible way I'll be able to salvage my dignity after that one. I wonder if I can switch roommates? A room all to myself would be marvel. Maybe a little lonely too, but at least then I could change without anyone questioning me as to why I'm wearing panties. God, that was so humiliating and—

"Ahhh!"

I fall backward with a thud as the door suddenly swings open. I land right at Christian's feet and find myself looking up at him from an upside down point of view again.

"Uh, um, hey, bro," I say awkwardly with a lame wave of my hand.

His brows furrows and then for the first time in ever I see a smirk pull at his lips.

"What are you doing?" he asks me as he helps me up.

I pull my shirt down and run my fingers through my hair, still adjusting to the short straggly strands and stand like an out of place dork before him.

"I was just . . . thinking, um, I mean leaving."

I turn around abruptly and only make it a quarter of the way down the hall when I hear him call out to me.

"I'll come with you," he says, taking only a few steps with his gloriously long legs to catch up with me.

"Um, what?"

"I'm coming with you," he repeats while looking down at me expectantly.

A frown tugs my lips down. "Why? Shouldn't you be hanging out with your friends?"

He shrugs. "They're out right now doing some work or some shit like that," he says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Yeah, they're probably out planning my demise.

"And you don't have any other friends to hang out with?" I ask as we slowly begin walking down the hall.

He gives me a side glance, a brow raised in question. "Do you not want me to hang out with you or something?"

I shrug. "I didn't think you liked me enough to want to hang out with me." My face burns when I realize he could take the meaning of that the wrong way. "I mean, not like you like _like_ me, you know, just like me as a friend and nothing more, because you're like a guy, and I'm a guy."

His laugh cuts me off and I look up at him almost as if in awe. His laugh is like angels playing harps, and the way his eyes crinkle . . . he's what my dreams are made of.

"I admit I do think you're a pretty weird dude, but you're cool I guess. I mean I have no real reason to _dislike_ you," he says, and I lamely nod my head. "And by the way, there is such a thing as guys liking guys. It's called being gay."

I choke on my spit and then cough, roughly patting myself on the chest as he looks at me. For the thousandth time in ten minutes I feel my cheeks burn.

Clearing my throat with a nod, I say, "I knew that, I just, you know, um, I don't know."

He laughs again. "You're so awkward it's funny. And you say 'you know' a lot, just so you know," he says with a smirk.

This time I laugh, not only at his words but the look he gives me. He has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen.

"By the way, I think I should apologize on behalf of Ethan and Colten. I should have spoken up when they told you the wrong class, but it's kinda like a ritual here that we do to new students. It's nothing personal."

"Sure didn't feel that way," I say under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Oh, um, I said thank you," I lie, looking at him and then turning away just as fast as my words left my mouth.

"Uh huh." We're both quiet for a moment as we get closer to the courtyard. "So, why did your parents decide to send you to the most expensive all-boys school in Washington?"

I see him look at my outfit from the corner of my, obviously judging the fabric and how cheap it looks. Had it been anyone else judging me like that, I would have gotten super offended, but for some reason I don't think he asked me the question or is looking at me in a condescending way.

"I chose this school," I tell him.

"Really? Why?"

I shrug. "Just seems like a good school."

"It is," he agrees.

"Why did you come here?" I ask.

He runs his hand through his hair and I watch the way his bicep flexes against his short sleeve.

"Uh, it really wasn't discussed. It was kind of expected. Every male on my father's side since the school was built has come here. It's just a tradition, I guess," he explains.

"You don't sound really enthusiastic about that fact," I comment.

He half shrugs. "It's not that big of a deal, I mean, I would have liked to make the final decision where I get my education, but Westwood is a great school. I wouldn't get a better education anywhere else."

"Oh," I say with a nod of my head.

We don't say anymore as we approach the courtyard and I spot Drew and Luke sitting at a picnic table with a blonde headed girl and black headed girl. I frown. I didn't think girls were allowed on campus. I thought that was a rule, but I guess rules were meant to be broken.

Christian stops abruptly and I stop and frown up at him. "Why'd you stop?"

"That's Victoria Spencer there with Katherine Kavanagh," he says quietly, almost as if they're going to hear us.

Kavanagh? I wonder if she's related to Ethan. They have the same hue of blond hair, and when I look around Luke I can see she has the same green eyes. Yeah, definite possibility they're related, most likely siblings. I wonder if she's just as evil as he is.

"Yeah, so why'd you stop?" I ask.

He's staring at the black haired girl as he answers. "I've had a crush on her since elementary school."

I look over at the girl with the dark hair. She's laughing at something Drew has said, and when I get a good look at her smiling face I slowly feel my heart sink in my chest. She's beautiful, with her long wavy black hair, sparkling hazel eyes and fair skin, there's no comparison between us.

When I look up at Christian and see the way he's practically drooling over her, I feel my heart crack.

 _It's not like you ever had a chance with him anyway. Did you forget? You're supposed to be a BOY!_

I sigh in disheartenment. A girl can dream, though, right?

 **Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites. You don't really know how much I appreciate it.**

 **SSG xoxo**


	4. What a girl wants

**Chapter Four—What a Girl Wants**

Christian and I walk over to the group, me wondering where these girls came from and why they're on Westwood property and Christian apparently a nervous wreck as we approach his lifetime crush. I inwardly roll my eyes. Now that we're getting closer I can see her face better, and you know what, she's not even that pretty. Yeah, look at that nasty beauty mole under her right eye, and her lips look like they've gotten too much silicone put in . . . and, and, oh who am I kidding she's freaking perfect. She looks like someone took DNA from a young Courteney Cox and Blake Lively and centrifuged it together and out came Victoria Spencer. Is it possible to hate someone you don't even know?

Drew turns around and spots us approaching them. He smiles at me, and when he sees Christian walking next to me his smile falters but it's still there nonetheless.

"Hey, Andy. Christian." He nods at both of us and scoots to the side to make room for us.

"Hey, Drew. What's up, Luke?" I ask turning to him.

He smirks at me. "Not much, you know, just sitting in the courtyard at this all-boys school, you know, because we're guys, right?"

Drew laughs and once I realize he's teasing me and not making fun of me, I blush a little but can't help my small laugh. He even tried to imitate my voice, but since he's a real guy he can't quite get the pitch right.

Luke laughs and then turns to the girls sitting across from him and Drew. "This is Katherine Kavanagh."

"It's Kate," she corrects him, but smiles at me. "Nice to meet you."

I give her a cautious smile and a nod.

"And this is Victoria Spencer. They both go to Tampax Prepatory," Drew finishes with a bright smile at the girls. My eyes widen at them and I see Victoria roll her eyes, but an amused smile is on her lips.

"Ha ha, so funny, Drew. We go to Pacific Coast Prepatory. It's an all-girls school just across the street, believe it or not," Victoria explains. Her eyes shift subtly to Christian's and I see a flicker of irritation, I think, in her eyes. "Hey, Christian," she says smoothly.

He gives her a nod. "Tori."

She turns back to me and her eyes crinkle in the corners as she smiles at me. "So how do you like Westwood so far? Everyone's being nice to you, right?" Victoria asks.

I give her a halfhearted shrug. "For the most part, yeah."

"Yeah, everyone but Ethan and Colten," Drew says throwing a look towards Kate. "Tried to send him to the janitor's closet in Jackson building."

Kate sighs and rolls her eyes. "He's so annoying. I swear, he's going to have the mentality of a seven year old for the rest of his life. He hasn't done anything else to bother you, has he?"

I shake my head.

"Good," Kate says, and then turns to Christian. "I love my brother, but I honestly don't know how you can stand to hang out with him and Colten so much. I mean seriously, they're worse than the girls at our school, which says a lot."

"That's what I said!" Luke says excitedly. I smirk at him, he's so cute.

I feel Christian shift next to me. I look up at him and see him giving Victoria obvious glances but she seems to be completely oblivious to him.

"They're not bad when it's just us three; they're honestly pretty cool when they're not being assholes."

Victoria scoffs. "Which is practically all the time. You know what Colten asked me the last time we hung out? When was he going to test out the goods? Like who asks someone that, and we don't even know each other well enough for him to speak to me so casually like that!" she exclaims, flipping her long shiny black hair over her shoulder.

"He seriously asked you that?" Christian asks, his voice low.

She nods his head.

"And he knows how I feel about you . . ." he mutters and his breath.

"What was that, Christian?" Victoria asks.

I see his hand twitch when he lifts it up to run it through his hair. "Huh? Oh, nothing."

She gives him a weird look and Kate turns to me. "So where'd you move from, Andy?"

"Came all the way from Nevada, this one," Drew answers, placing his gigantic hand on my shoulder and squeezing it. Hard. I try to hide my wince, but I'm unsuccessful.

"Really?" Victoria asks, leaning over the table. "Which part?"

"Las Vegas," I answer.

"Ooo, I love Vegas! My family used to go every year until I turned ten. I think we stopped going because my dad always spent too much money." Her hazel eyes all but sparkle as she giggles at her little theory.

I give her a small smile, feeling uncomfortable at the way she's gazing at me, so I bring Christian into the conversation since Kate, Drew and Luke seem to be arguing about the merits of chicken nuggets over chicken strips.

"So how do you and Christian know each other?" I ask.

"Oh we're neighbors back in Bellevue," she answers dismissively. "So did you leave a girlfriend back in Vegas, Andy?"

My eyes widen and I nervously shift in my seat. "Girlfriend?" I scratch the back of my neck and look away from her inquisitive eyes. I laugh nervously. "No, no, I've never had a girlfriend . . . or boyfriend." My eyes widen when I realize my slip up. "Not that I like boys. I mean I like boys, but not like that. Like I think Christian is pretty cute . . . uhh, I mean he's alright looking, I guess, but I don't want to date him or anything."

I cough and of course by now everyone is looking at me like I've lost my mind.

"Bro, she just asked you if you had a girlfriend. All you had to say was no. And did you call Christian cute?" Drew asks with laughing eyes. I turn crimson.

"Uh . . ." I'm sure my face is even redder now and everyone starts laughing, except Christian, surprise, surprise. Even more of a surprise is he's looking at me like I'm from a different planet.

Jeez, I really know how to screw things up easily, don't I? _Yup, pretty much. Nice going by the way._

Victoria is grinning at me and I have no idea why. It's making me more uncomfortable than Christian's impassive stare, which is a lot to go by since his gray eyes are unnerving when they burn holes through me like they are now.

"Aww, look at your cute blush!" Victoria teases. "Don't worry about them; I think it's pretty hot when a guy's comfortable enough with his own sexuality to admit when he finds another guy attractive."

She winks at me and I'm literally completely at a loss of what to do. I've barely had a boy flirt with me before and I didn't know what to say back. How am I supposed to flirt with a girl when I _am_ a girl?

I cough nervously and shift in my seat again, accidently knocking knees with Christian.

"Oh, um, sorry," I tell him, but he's not looking at me, or anyone else for that matter. I wonder what's wrong with him.

"So what are you doing next weekend, Andy? It's the annual fall fundraiser that our schools set up to help raise money to fund extracurricular activities our tuition doesn't cover. We should totally go together!" Her smile is so bright the sun would be pissed he has competition. And she's looking at me with those hazel eyes that have so much determination.

Is she serious? I wonder if this is some kind of joke, but then when I look at her I feel like she's waiting for my answer. Maybe I can put her down gently?

"Um . . . I—"

"Great! I'll meet you there at five, okay? Don't be late." She giggles and stands up, her dark hair falling down to her waist. "See you soon!" She giggles again, winking at me, then pulls Kate up, rudely pulling her away from the deep conversation she was in with Drew and Luke and sways her hips.

"Uh, nice meeting you, Andy! I'll see you guys later," Kate all but shouts as Victoria pulls her out of the courtyard.

Drew and Luke turn to me with smirks.

"You haven't even been here a week yet and you got girls asking _you_ out." Drew laughs.

I run my hand over my crazy hair, feeling totally overwhelmed for no reason.

"Technically it was only one girl," I mumble.

Luke laughs then stands up and slaps me on the back. "Dude, like that matters. You got Victoria Spencer eating out of the palm of your hands. Tons of guys would kill to be in your place right now."

My eyes unconsciously trail over to Christian and he looks like he's swallowed something sour. I'm sure he's one of the guys Luke was referring to.

"I didn't even agree to go," I tell him as way of an apology.

He shakes his head and stands up. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'll see you back at the dorm."

"I . . ." My words die in my mouth as he continues to walk away back to our room.

Great. He said he had no reason to dislike me earlier, but I'm pretty sure he has a very clear reason to dislike me now.

 **It's short I know, and I promise you guys I'm still working on this, but I don't like leaving you all hanging too long, so I'm using this as an olive branch to stick with me a little bit longer. I promise I will finish this, I know how irritating it is reading a story you like that never gets finished.**

 **If you find any inconsistencies please let me know, but don't do it in a way that makes me feel less than human. We all make mistakes, so keep it respectful or rant to someone who is paid to care what you think.**

 **I hope all of you have a very happy new year and had a wonderful Christmas!**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	5. What a boy wants

**Chapter Five—What a Boy Wants**

When I get back to the dorm later that evening to get ready for the day tomorrow, I find Christian lounging on his bed, phone in hand and only in his boxers. I practically melt inside at the sight. His glorious abs on display and the way his muscles ripple when he shifts slightly . . . I shudder inside with pure female satisfaction.

"What are you doing?"

I look up suddenly and see Christian staring at me with a frown. I look around and realize I've just been standing in the doorway staring at him like a pervert. I immediately close the door behind me and step further into the room, willing myself not to blush.

"Uh, I was just thinking," I lamely mutter as I walk towards my bed.

"While staring at me like I'm a piece of meat?" he asks, and I think I hear amusement in his voice but I'm not sure.

"I—I wasn't staring at you. I was, um, staring at your phone. What's that the iPhone 7? Nice." I scrunch up my face in utter embarrassment.

 _What are you talking about? Why are you so weird?_

"Uh, thanks," I hear Christian say from across the room. "Hey, Andy, can I ask you something?"

I hesitate for a moment and apprehensively think of every possible question he could ask me. And of course the one that comes to the forefront of my mind is him asking me if I'm a girl. How terrible would that be? I've only been here for less than a week and he's already figured out my secret.

 _It's not like you're a good actress,_ Andrew _._

"Uh, yeah sure. What is it?"

"How is it that Victoria asks you out the first chance she gets, but I've been pining after her for years and she's barely given me a second glance?"

His voice sounds so down and I feel really bad for him, but I don't know how to give him an honest answer. How am I supposed to know why that girl likes me and not him? Maybe she senses I have the same reproductive organs as her and she feels like I'm easier to approach? Sounds stupid but anything is possible. Which is obvious sense I'm a sixteen year old cross-dresser.

"I mean, how do I get her to notice me?"

I sit on my bed and turn to face him. He's looking at me pensively and I have to look away from his burning gaze. Why does he have to be so cute? And why am I the one he's asking relationship advice from? I've never even been in a relationship!

"Uh, honestly I don't know. The only advice I can give you is to be yourself," I tell him softly, not sure what else to say.

I get up to take a shower but he keeps talking. I internally groan. I don't know how to help him and I want him to stop asking me how to get a girl he likes to talk to him when he should only be talking to me! Ugh, jeez, I sound like a petty, ridiculous teenage girl.

"I'm always myself around her, and she hasn't noticed me! Show me how to get her to notice me," he practically pleads.

I turn around and look at him with wide eyes and I practically choke on my spit.

"Show you?" I squeak. "How do you want me to do that?"

He stands up and comes towards me. "I don't know," he answers with a shrug. "You seem to have a way with Victoria that I don't, and I know you aren't that in to her, so if you just show me how to make her like me I can swoop in and take her off your hands."

He smiles proudly, like is plan is completely fool proof and I'm tempted to smack him upside the head. God, boys are so stupid. He looks like he thinks his plan will actually work, and when I really think about his plan I realize that he wants me to teach him how to act like a girl disguised as a boy. I almost laugh out loud at the thought.

Getting my thoughts in order I look up at him and try to ignore his oh-so-gorgeous gaze.

"As, uh, smart as that plan sounds, I don't think it's going to work," I tell him and subtly move closer to the bathroom.

He follows me. "Why not?"

I shift uncomfortably on my feet. "Well, it's not like I can teach you to be someone you're not, and even if I did it's not like a girl would want a guy who isn't himself. I know I wouldn't," I mutter under my breath.

You would think I would learn my lesson, but apparently my brain as a boy is less receptive to mistakes than when I was a girl.

"What?" he asks, a frown marring his brow.

"Uh, nothing. Anyways I'm going to take a shower now, so, uh, maybe think of a different plan. Alright?"

Without waiting for his answer I rush into the bathroom and close the door behind me, making a show of locking it and then begin to strip. Just as I'm about to get into the shower I hear a pounding against the door.

"Okay, so how about you tell Victoria how great she and I would be together and then she'll realize that I've been the best match for her this whole time. Of course you'd have to find a way to make her stop liking you, but that should be the easy part, no offense but I don't think you're really her type," he says from behind the door.

 _Gee, thanks, but it's not like you're her type either, bud._

He sounds so enthusiastic about his plan and I almost don't want to tell him no, but I don't see a way how it'd work. I know if I was in Victoria's position, if I didn't like a boy before I wouldn't like him no matter what he did or said to change how I felt. And what could he possibly expect me to say that would make her change her mind enough to actually make her like him?

I open my mouth to deny him his plan, but he continues talking.

"I mean, it would just be the most convenient pairing. I know her parents, she knows mine. We live in the same neighborhood; we've known each other forever. I just think we'd be the most suitable . . . and with her there'd be no surprises and she's perfect so it's not like I wouldn't be faithful to her and be attracted to someone else . . . not that I'm attracted to someone else, I mean, I could be but I'm not."

His voice is partially muffled by the door but I can still hear him and his words aren't making any sense. I have no idea what he's talking about but I assume that's how it mostly is when a girl and boy are having a conversation.

"Um . . . okay," I mutter lamely, not really knowing what else to say at the moment. "I'm going to take a shower now."

I don't wait to hear his response when I turn on the water and drown out everything, including the sinking feeling that even if he saw me as a girl he still wouldn't like me.

 **Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	6. Too close

**Chapter six—Too Close**

When I get out of the shower I dry off and put on my pajamas, making sure I look like the teenage boy I'm supposed to be before I step into the bedroom and face Christian. When I open the door he's sitting on the edge of his bed looking at me expectantly. And as if in slow motion I watch as his eyes trail down my body and then back up to my eyes.

I feel my heart drop. Oh my good Lord, is he checking me out? Why would he be checking me out? With eyes I'm sure the size of watermelons, I meet his gaze and am instantly confused when I see a smirk on his face.

"Nice jammies," he teases.

I look down at my pants and t-shirt and look back up at him with a slight blush. So what, I like blue and yellow sea horses, I'm sure I'm not the only girl dressed as a boy that likes sea horses.

I cough nervously. "Thanks."

I move over to my bed, avidly ignoring his gaze but feeling it on me with each movement I make. Getting rather irritated that I can't get into bed without an audience, I turn to look at him with a raised brow.

"What?" I ask.

"What did you think of my plan?" he asks, his voice now sounding more apprehensive. "Do you think it would work?"

I lie down and look up at the ceiling. "Um, it might."

"So you'll help me then?" he asks sounding hopeful, a little too hopeful to my liking.

"I guess so." I turn around facing away from him and close my eyes to block out the image of him and Victoria. "I'm tired now, so I'm going to sleep. Night."

I hear him shuffling around the bed before he turns off his light and gets under his sheets. "Night," he says and then the room plunges into darkness.

I wake up to darkness, and I briefly sit up in bed wondering what caused me to wake before my alarm. I rub my hands against my eyes and right when I'm about to go back to sleep, not even bothering to find out what really woke me up is when I feel something move on the end of my bed.

I slightly lean over to turn on my lamp, but when I hear a distinctive hiss that I know only belongs to one particular reptile, I'm out of bed before I can even muster the brain power to scream my head off. In my haste to get out of bed, I get my sheets tangled around my feet and fall flat on my butt. My sheets find their way on my floor with me, and when I hear a thump and another distinctive hiss, I squeal like a pig and jump on Christian's bed, not even entertaining the idea of getting back onto my bed or staying on the floor.

I'm not watching what I'm doing as I crawl across Christian's bed as I stare out into the darkness and try to find Satan's serpent, and I end up crushing Christian's face under my hand.

He groans, and then pushes me off him, only to sit up and give me what I'm sure is one of his glare's, only a sleep filled one.

"What the hell are you doing on my bed? Get off me!"

He's practically pushing me onto the floor but I hang onto his arms, making him more aggressive.

"There's a snake in here!" I finally screech out, getting a better grip on him.

"What?"

"I woke up and there was something moving on my bed and then I heard something hiss! I rolled off my bed and it came down with me and now it's somewhere on the floor!"

I'm gripping his arms like he's my lifeline, and when my explanation as to why I'm on my bed leaves my mouth he stills and swear I feel him hold onto me too.

"How would a snake have gotten in here?" he demands in a whisper, as if it could hear him.

"Like I would know!"

I see movement behind me, and I scream, pushing Christian out of the way and jumping onto my bed.

"What? What?" he yells, scrambling to get onto my bed with me.

By this point we're huddled together, looking at his bed like it's about to light on fire. If I wasn't so scared out of my mind I would take advantage of the fact that he was so close to me, so close in fact that I could smell his masculine body wash and another scent I don't know how to place. And I would marvel at the way his shirtless body is pressed against mine, his heat seeping into my clothes and warming my skin. And he's so muscular, he feels like hard metal under my grip and I couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to have the chance to feel such power whenever I wanted.

"There!" Christian yells, pulling me out of my brief fantasy. My eyes snap toward the area he's pointing and in the darkness I can see movement that belongs only to one type of slithering reptile.

"It has to be Connor Ronan's snake. He's in the room next door, maybe if I can call him I ca—"

"He's coming back over here!" I squeal and look to another place I can jump to as I tighten my grip on Christian.

Just when I was feeling like all hope was lost, the door swings open and a boy with dark red hair and tired, deep green eyes stands in our doorway with only a t-shirt and pajama pants on.

"What's going on?" comes out a raspy, sleep induced voice. "I heard screaming, are you guys all right?"

"No everything's not all right! Your damn snake's in here, Ronan!" Christian bellows at him.

"What?"

The kid rushes over to Christian's bedside and turns on the lamp and squints in the dull light. I see movement in between my and Christian's bed and point to a scaly looking tail partially hiding underneath Christian's bed.

"It's there!"

Connor comes around the other side of the bed and gets on his hands and knees and lifts up Christian's bed covers to look under the bed. The room is dead silent as Christian and I watch as he tentatively pulls the snake from out under Christian's bed and coils the moderately long and thick snake around his arm.

I look up at him like he's crazy when he stands up and gazes at me and Christian. But before I can berate him for being stupid enough to own the Devil's messenger, he raises his brow at Christian and me and then asks, "Why are you two hugging each other?"

Christian and I turn our heads at the same time, looking at each other and then he yells and pushes me off him so I fall against the bed.

"Dude, what the fuck? Why were you holding me like that?" he asks with a high pitched voice.

I try not to laugh and I honestly can't even deny that I was the one holding him, but he was holding me too, so I point that out.

"You were the one holding onto me!"

"You know what, it doesn't matter, I'm tired, the snake's gone so let's just go back to sleep." He turns away from me and looks at Connor who now has an amused grin plastered on his face. "Keep that demon locked up tighter or I'll tell O'Brien that you have a pet living in the dorms."

He ushers him out of the room as I straighten up my bed again. Christian avoids my gaze as he climbs back into bed and turns off the light. We're plunged back into darkness but now the quiet seems even more deafening. I try to close my eyes and go back to sleep, but I can't, I feel too awake now to fall back into unconsciousness.

I stare up at the ceiling, thinking about the way Christian smelled and felt against my skin. I hear him moving around, but I assume he's just trying to get comfortable, and then his deep voice penetrates through the darkness.

"Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"You scream like a girl."

I can't help but grin, because I know it's true and I even chuckle out loud a little bit. When I think more about the whole situation and how we were jumping from bed to bed and holding on to each other, I find it hilarious and laugh harder.

Christian joins in, and before I know it we're both rolling around on our separate beds, dying with laughter. Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, it was one of the funniest nights of my life.

 **Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites!**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	7. Secrets of the Mind

**Chapter seven-Secrets of the Mind**

I wake up feeling rested and happy it's finally Saturday. I thankfully survived my first school week here, and I don't think anyone suspects anything about what's really in my pants.

Sitting up in bed, I stretch my arms above my head and yawn, while wondering what I should do today. I turn to see if Christian's still in bed, but it's empty and made up. It doesn't look like he's even slept in it. After asking me for help with seducing Victoria, he's been bugging me, asking me weird questions about what he should do or say in order to get his long time crush to notice him. It's honestly kind of driving me insane, but I can't really complain since now I actually have a reason to talk to him.

I get out of bed to go pee and brush my teeth, but just as I put my hand on the doorknob to the bathroom, I hear a knock on the door.

Taking a few steps to open it, I come face to face with Ethan and Colten. I feel my face immediately fall and just stare at them as they stare at me. _Ugh, great. What do stupid one and stupid two want?_

I break the staring contest first. "Christian isn't here," I tell them, tempted to slam the door in their faces.

"We know," Ethan says.

I frown. "Then what do you want?" I look at them, wondering if this is the part where they bust into the room and beat me to a pulp and Christian comes back to find me a bloody mess.

"Can we come in?" Colten asks, his face actually void of his smugness or superiority but I think I can still see a hint of hostility in those evil eyes of his.

"No. Just please tell me what you want. I kinda don't have all day to waste on you two."

"Whoa, what's up with the attitude, Andy? I thought we were friends, why the hostility?" Colten asks.

I'm so tempted to roll my eyes but at the same time cave in and let them inside so they don't pummel my face in, but I'm not going to let these idiots bully me anymore.

Ethan holds his hand against the door so I can't close it in their faces. "Look," he says, gazing at me with a pleading expression. "We just wanted to apologize for the first day we met you. It's kind of a ritual here, but I think we took the hostility too far."

They both stand there looking at me expectantly but I'm not really sure what to say. I don't want to be their friends any more than I believe Ethan's pathetic excuse of an apology, and by the way Colten is still glaring at me, I'm assuming he doesn't feel the least but apologetic for his antics. _What about the saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer?_

Internally sighing, I nod my head and give them a very small smile. "I accept your apology," I tell them with no enthusiasm. "Anyway I was just about to take a shower, if you don't mind," I say in way of politely asking them to leave.

Ethan gives me a small wave while Colten continues to glare at me. _Jeez, what's up his ass?_ "Okay, see you around, Andy," Ethan says as he turns and walks down the hallway, Colten following him like a lost puppy.

I close the door behind them with a frown. What was all that about, and what's with the random apology? I have to admit that Ethan looked a little more sincere than Colten did, but still I don't trust either of them, or their reason for apologizing. _I smell something fishy and I know it's not me._

I shake my head and leave the problem in the air for now, pushing it away for another time to dissect it more. I strip and get into the shower, turning the water on the hottest setting and letting the hot water relax my muscles.

I'm drying off my hair, with just a towel wrapped around my chest, when the bathroom door swings open and Christian steps in looking pensive and gorgeous. He has headphones in, and his chest is bare, with beads if sweat dripping down his pecs and abs. I feel my mouth hanging open and have to physically shut my mouth closed with my fingers.

When he finally realizes I'm in here, he looks up, startles slightly, and looks at me up and down. We just stare at each other for a few moments, neither one of us saying anything, until he finally pulls out his headphones and says, "What are you doing?"

I blink at him. _What does it look like I'm doing?_

I clear my throat and shuffle nervously on my feet. _God, why does he have to be so hot?_ "Uh, I, um, shower," I mumble like an idiot.

He gives me a weird look and shakes his head at me. "Yeah, obviously." He rolls his eyes. "I meant what are you doing? What's with the towel?"

I look down at myself and then back up at him and then back down again. "Uh, I, my, um, nipples get cold." _Oh, God._ I literally almost face palm myself as I look down and close my eyes. _How possibly stupid can you get?_

He raises his eyebrows and I think I can see the amusement on his lips. "Your nipples get cold?"

Well, it's too late to take it back now, might as well go with it. " Mhmm, what yours don't after you get out of the shower?" I ask, avoiding eye contact as I pick up my pajamas and make a move to get around him and flee to a very dark, deep black hole.

He watches me as I move to get around him. "Well, sometimes . . . I guess," he says thoughtfully. He looks at me again with narrowed eyes, and I catch his gaze mainly focuses on my chest area.

I feel my face flame. _Oh God, what if he can tell?_ Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty small, but most can usually tell the difference between a girls chest and a boys chest.

"Uh, so, yeah, I'm gonna, uh, get dressed now," I say pointing with my head toward the bedroom.

He nods his head, still giving me a weird look. " Yeah, okay." I turn away, shaking my head to myself about how much of an idiot I am, when he stops me. "Andy, wait."

I look at him. He's scratching the back of his head, making his arm muscles flex. _Wipe the drool off your face, you oaf!_ "Yeah?"

"The guys are going to shoot some hoops for a couple of hours. I heard Kate is going to be there, and, uh, Victoria might be there, too. I think you should come," he tells me.

I gaze at him for a moment. I should think it's so cute that he has a crush that makes him all flustered and adorable, but it only serves to irritate me. Why can't it be me? _Uh maybe you should take a look in the mirror and then you'll have your answer._ I give him a thin smile and nod my head. "Sure."

He rubs his hands together and gives me a broad grin. "Great. You remember our plan, right?"

 _The plan that will never work, yeah._ I nod my head again. "Yup. Got it." I turn around making sure to close the door behind me so he can't say anything else about that girl and his stupid plan.

I quickly put on my clothes and fall backwards on my bed just as I hear the shower turn on. Boys are so weird. And complicated. And I don't know how I can keep this up. I have too much to lose, and if anyone finds out my secret I'll be sent back to hell, and I don't even think Satan enjoys being there.

I guess I really need to practice being a boy. And do it right. _Because there's totally a right way to be a boy._

I silently laugh inside. Yeah, if only there was a guidebook on the correct way to be a teenage boy.

 **Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites.**

 **SS** **G xoxo**


	8. Desperate measures

**Chapter eight—Desperate Measures**

I'm sitting on the bench, taking a break from all the pointless running and ball snatching when Katherine Kavanagh comes to sit next to me. I turn to look at her and thank God that it's only her and not Victoria.

"Tired?" she asks, looking at me with a friendly smile.

I silently nod my head, my eyes on the boys but mainly on Christian as I watch him in all his beautiful glory.

"Yeah, I don't know how you guys can stand to play for hours at a time. Honestly, just watching them run back and forth is boring, but I have to admit, I am loving the uniforms," she says with a smirk, her eyes on Drew as he dribbles the ball down the court.

I smile at her comment about the uniforms, considering all but one of them aren't wearing shirts, and different colors of basketball shorts. _Gotta agree with her, though._

I look over at her and see her eyes haven't left Drew. "You like him?" I ask.

She turns to me, familiar green eyes gazing at me. "Who?" she asks, playing stupid. She even adds that little head tilt to seem innocent.

I nod my head toward the court. "Drew."

She looks away, a secret smile on her lips. "I mean he's cool, and really nice to me, but I don't know. Why? Does he . . . does he talk about me?" she asks. She's trying to sound disinterested, but I can hear the hope in her voice.

"Umm . . . I don't spend a lot of time with him, but I think so. I mean he looks at you as much as you look at him."

She smirks, but I think I see a little color stain her cheeks. "Really?"

I nod my head. "Yeah. And if you want, maybe I can, you know, um, tell him you like him."

"No!" she almost shouts.

I slightly jump back and gawk at her with wide eyes. "No?" I repeat.

She shakes her head. "No. No, don't tell him I like him. Just, you know, just say something like how you think I'm pretty or something. Or make a comment about how you saw him looking at me. I don't know. Just be subtle about it, okay?"

"Uh, okay."

"Andy!" Kate and I both look to our left and I almost groan when I see Victoria practically skipping toward us.

She plops right down on the other side of me, sandwiching me in between her and Kate, and leans over to give me a hug. I awkwardly pat her back, not really sure what to do.

I catch Christian glancing over at us, signaling me to remember our plan, well _his_ plan. My plan would be to ship Victoria off to places unknown and hold Christian hostage all to myself. _That plan is even worse than his!_

"Oh my God, I found the cutest dress to wear to the fundraiser tomorrow." Oh, no, I totally forgot that God forsaken fundraiser was this weekend. "We should totally color coordinate! We would look so cute together!" she all but squeals. "Ohh, and my parents will be there, I can introduce you and we could even go on double dates with Kate and Drew when he takes his head out of his ass and realizes what a catch she is! Oh, and look at this!" She begins pulling something out of her bag.

"Victoria," I say.

She doesn't hear me.

"Victoria."

Either she's ignoring me or just too excited to hear anything else but her own wild thoughts. So I lean over and physically grab her hands to get her to stop moving. She looks up at me, her hazel eyes turning darker, and I swear I feel her lean closer toward me. _Please don't try to kiss me._ I would hate for my first kiss to be with a girl, and I'm sure she wouldn't like the thought of kissing a girl, and potentially falling in love with her when she thinks that the boy she's kissing is really a girl. Oh, no. What if she knows I'm a girl and is a lesbian?

I look at her wide eyes, as she bats her long lashes at me and gazes at me with hope and . . . please don't tell me that's desire.

"Yes, Andy?"

I let go of her and sit back, rubbing the back of my neck. "Um, well, you see, I don't think I'll be able to make it tomorrow. My, um, cousin, yeah my cousin is flying in from Maine, and my mom is kind of making it a mandatory family dinner tomorrow. So you're just going to have to go without me. I'm really sorry." I stand up quickly, knowing she's going to try to persuade me to change my mind, or my _mother's_ mind, but this can't happen. Like ever. "You should ask Christian, though. Okay, I gotta go now. So, um, see you later!" I wave like a dork to both girls and literally sprint back to my dorm.

When I get inside I lean back against the door and take a few deep breaths as I try to calm my breathing and my heart rate. Oh my God, that was the most awkward conversation I've ever had with a girl, and I've had some pretty weird conversations with myself. They're going to think I'm a total weirdo and Christian's going to hate me for failing to make his dumb plan work.

I groan and roll my eyes, then walk over to my bed and fall back onto it. Can my life literally get any more complicated? I groan again when I hear a knock against the door, and then slowly get up to answer it. When I pull the door open I can't say I'm surprised when I see Victoria anxiously standing on the other side. She doesn't even wait for me to invite her in before she pushes her way through the door and stands before me with her hands on her hips and a frown on her lips.

"Why don't you like me?" she blurts out suddenly. She looks like she's about to cry. _Looks like someone doesn't have a lot of experience with rejection._ I inwardly roll my eyes at that thought. Of course she doesn't have experience with rejection, look at her face and body!

I awkwardly shift my weight form foot to foot as I try to think of what to tell her. "Um, it's not that I don't like you . . . I just—you're not really, uh, my, um, type."

She stares at me incredulously for a moment like she can't believe what I've just said. "Not—not your type?" she mumbles. "But . . .I. . . well then what is your type?" she grounds out. It doesn't look like she's about to cry now, she looks really mad. Oh, God, please no. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned I feel like this one could do some major damage if she really wanted to. She's probably thinking right now how she'd like to hang me from my balls. Thank God I don't really own any.

I shrug my shoulders to her question. I would say Christian but I don't think she'd appreciate that one. "I don't know really. I just—"

Her relieved laugh interrupts me. "Oh, okay I get it now. There's nothing to be ashamed of." Her eyes are shining in realization and she's wearing a self-satisfied smirk now. She takes a few steps closer to me and places her hands on my shoulders. "You know I should have figured it out a lot sooner, but I was just so distracted by those pretty blue eyes of yours that I wasn't thinking properly, but it's all good. I'll show you everything you need to know, and then your realize what type of girl you're really into." She leans down to give me a kiss on my cheek then hugs me and heads for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? My parents are going to love me being with such an honest boy for once." She winks at me and blows me a kiss, just in time for Christian to walk in with a small towel over his shoulder to see Victoria leave the room.

"Oh, hey, Christian," Victoria says cheerfully and then struts down the hallway and out of our sight.

Christian turns and looks at me with a raised brow just as the door slams closed and locks me in what I'm sure is about to become my very own personal hell of twenty questions.

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	9. whats your type

**Chapter nine—What's your type?**

Christian looks at the door again for a moment before he turns back to me. "What was that all about?" he asks, moving back his sweat-soaked hair from his forehead.

"I—um, she—I, we . . ."

He gives me a weird look from the corner of his eye. "What's wrong with you?"

"I have to use the bathroom." I don't even give him a chance to respond as I swivel on my heels and practically sprint to the bathroom, almost slamming the door behind me. I sit on the toilet and rest my elbows on my knees as I hide my face in my hands. Why? Just why? All I wanted to do was go to a school that was far away from my mother and her creep-o husband, and yet I seem to have more problems being here than when I was at home.

I just don't understand how I got into this weird love triangle. Christian likes Victoria, Victoria likes me, I like Christian, and you would think I would feel flattered that one of the supposedly hottest girls across the street likes me, but I find myself having anxiety and maybe a little bit of nervous gas. I wonder how much Victoria would still like me if she found out I was a girl. Maybe that wouldn't matter to her and she would gladly change sexual preferences to be with me. Well I'm not okay with that. I'd rather be chased after by guys than unsuspecting lesbian girls. At least then I would find pleasure in the guy's chasing me, With Victoria it makes me feel . . . disturbed. If I wasn't in the middle of this problem, I would honestly find the whole dilemma quite amusing, but as the gods who continuously laugh at me would have it, I am in the middle of it and I'm not laughing.

Maybe I should just end the charade and go home. My secret is bound to be discovered with all of this love drama going on. _No! Anything will be better than going back to that hellhole!_ I guess that's true. At least it's someone my age that is attracted to me and not a fifty-year old perverted man. But maybe I should move into a different hall so I don't have to constantly be around anyone. _Clearly you forgot she has legs, she'll still be able to find you!_ Ugh, why can't my life be simple? I just wanted to be an inconspicuous fifteen-year old girl dressed as a boy with no drama or worries, but obviously that was too much to ask for.

"Andy?" Christian asks as he knocks on the door, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Are you almost done?"

I get up to open the door and walk past him without looking at him. "Sorry, I guess I ate some bad . . . um, food." _Ugh, why is it even when your brain isn't working you still manage to embarrass yourself?_

I hear him close the door and I go over to my bed and fall face down onto the mattress. I think of all of the things I can possible do or say to convince Victoria that I don't like her and why she wouldn't really like me without giving myself away. I can't think of anything, and my brain seems to short circuit when I think too hard about it. Maybe it's just not meant to be . . .

I wake up disoriented, blinking rapidly as the muted sunlight shines in through the windows. I lean up and look at the clock to see it's only five in the evening. I groan and bury my face back into my pillow.

"Have a nice nap?"

I jump and gasp, then turn over to see Christian casually lying on his bed with a notebook on his lap and his physics book laying on his bed in front of his crossed legs.

I clear my throat. "I, uh, I thought you left," I mumble, sounding shy and embarrassed as always when I'm around him.

He shakes his head while he stares at me, a smirk on his lips. I narrow my eyes at him. "What?" I ask, wondering why he's looking at me like that.

"You should see you hair." He snickers. "You look like one of those trolls."

I'm tempted to roll my eyes _._ Jeez, thanks, every girl likes to hear she looks like she's a troll when she wakes up. _Well he doesn't know you're a girl, now does he?_ I run my hands through my hair as I sit up on the bed and try to fix the rest of my appearance.

"You know, you're quite entertaining when you sleep," he tells me, that distracting smirk still on his beautiful face.

I frown. "What are you talking about?"

"You were talking in your sleep."

I feel the blood drain from my face. Oh, no. What did I say?

"You were mumbling mostly, but I did make out Victoria's name. And mine. And something about parakeets, I think." He laughs as he watches my expression, but then it slowly darkens. "So you were dreaming about Victoria then?"

I feel my face flame as I look at my hands. "I . . . don't remember," I mumble.

"You're lying."

I swing my face toward him to catch his frown. "I'm not!"

"You're still lying."

I jump out of bed and glare at him. "Well . . . so what if I am! What's it to you who I dream about?"

"Do you like her?" he asks me, keeping his expression contained now.

"I—you—why are you asking me all these questions?"

"I only asked one question," he mutters.

I huff out an aggravated groan and head for the door, but before I can get there Christian is out of bed and in front of the door, blocking my exit.

"You can't leave."

I take a step back, my heart rate spiking at his close proximity. Why does he have to smell so amazing? "Why not?"

"We still need to talk about Victoria and why she was here talking to you."

I catch myself before I roll my eyes at him, then shake my head and say, "I'm hungry. We can talk about it when I get back from the cafeteria."

"I'll just go with you," he says, slipping on his house shoes and leading me out the door. "I'm hungry too, so two birds one stone." He shrugs after his explanation.

I do roll my eyes this time. I thought boys were the simpler of the two sexes, and yet boys at this school have completely proven that theory wrong.

I try to put as much distance as possible between us as we walk to the cafeteria together. I can see him taking quick glances at me from the corner of my eye but I ignore him, not ready yet to talk about the weird conversation I had with Victoria. What did she mean anyway by she'll show me who my type will be and her parents will be happy about her being with an honest boy? _The girl is starting to sound as weird as you are._

When we enter the threshold of the cafeteria I see Drew and Luke sitting at one of the tables close to the salad bar and let out a sigh of relief. I see Christian scowl at me, knowing that this is my way to hold off our conversation, but I just continue to ignore him. I nod my head at the boys in greeting before I go to the counter and order myself a sandwich, then go back to the table and sit across from Luke and next to Drew. Christian sits next to Luke, a scowl still on his face.

"Are you ready for the fundraiser tomorrow?" Drew asks, and I want to groan and bolt, already tired of talking about that damn fundraiser.

"Yeah, I guess." I shrug as I take a huge bite out of my sandwich so my mouth is full and they can't ask me anymore questions, at least not for a few moments.

"I'm sure you are," Christian mumbles petulantly, narrowing his eyes at me. "Victoria was in our room when I got back from our game," Christian tells Drew and Luke and then proceeds to tell them what he saw and heard as she was leaving the room.

I sigh again and this time give into the urge to roll my eyes. "I didn't agree or disagree with anything she said," I try to defend myself.

Luke laughs. "Like that really matters, dude. She must be really desperate to risk getting suspended from school for a week."

I frown at him. "What are you talking about?"

"If an administrative or any other authoritative adult were to find a student of the opposite sex in one of the dorms, it's an automatic suspension. Apparently Westwood doesn't want to be seen as one of those schools that encourage teen pregnancy and the distribution of STDs, so they're really strict on that kind of stuff," Drew answers with a nonchalant head nod.

Well I wonder what would happen to me if they found out I was really a girl? I guess it's safe to assume and automatic expulsion. I wonder if it would be stupid to ask if I was caught if I can enroll at the all-girls school. _You really do come up with some really brilliant ideas, you dork._

"Wow." Is all I manage to say as about a thousand thoughts rush through my mind at once.

"So what did she say to you?" Luke asks me, taking a bite out of his cheeseburger.

"Huh?" I mumble.

Luke smirks at me, obviously amused by my confused state. "What did Victoria say to you back in your dorm room?"

"Uh . . ." I take a quick glance at Christian and then look away just as fast. Oh, man, if I tell him what she said to me he's going to hate my guts even though I haven't done anything to lead the girl on. "She was talking about the fundraiser and meeting her parents, and something about how she's going to help me find out what my type is."

I look up and find all of them giving me confused looks. "She wants to help you find out what your type is?" Drew asks with a furrowed brow. "What is that supposed to mean?"

I shrug. "She also said something about finally introducing an honest boy to her parents." I glance up at Christian and see him looking at me with a myriad of emotions swirling through his eyes.

Luke runs his hands over his stubbly chin with a thoughtful frown. "An honest boy . . . what's an honest boy? And how would she help you figure out a type? How does someone not know what they're type is?"

We're all quiet as we all take in Luke's comments and then Drew breaks the silence by saying, "Maybe a virgin wouldn't know what his type of girl is but even before I lost my virginity my type was just female."

I look down and will the blush to just stay away for once, but when I look back up once I feel like I'm no longer in danger of combusting into a blazing fire of embarrassment, I see three pairs of eyes looking at me with the same question in their eyes.

I try to school my face into one of complete innocence. "What?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant, but know I fail terribly.

"Andy, are you a virgin?" Luke asks me.

I look at everything else but them as I will the floor to collapse under me and save me from the embarrassment.

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 **I hope this chapter answers most of the questions asked about Victoria ;)**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	10. through the looking glass

**Chapter ten—Through the Looking Glass**

I clear my throat nervously as I shift in my seat and still try to avoid all of their gazes, even though I can feel all of their eyes on me.

"There's nothing wrong if you are, dude," Drew says, I assume trying to alleviate the awkwardness.

"I—I just, you know, I haven't had the chance, to, uh, meet the right one, I guess," I mumble, my gaze still on the table.

Drew pats me on the back with one hand, and when I look up at him he has a smile on his face. When I look at Luke and Christian, Luke is gazing at me with a smile too, but he has a thoughtful look on his face. When I look at Christian, it looks like he's confused about something. I don't try to overthink about either of their expressions, knowing I'll probably just end even more confused.

"Well, maybe you'll find the one soon, yeah?" Drew comments, smiling without an ounce of judgement in his voice or expression.

I smile slightly back at him, feeling grateful that even if he knew I was a girl, he wouldn't be judging me for not being as experienced as them.

"Well do you like Victoria?" Luke asks, giving me a scrutinizing look.

I slowly shake my head. "Christian likes her," I say, looking at him to watch his expression. He looks even more confused now.

Luke smiles slightly at me. "I know Christian likes her, but I asked if _you_ liked her."

I shrug. "She's nice and she's pretty, you know, but I don't like her more than a friend."

Drew laughs. "No guy here would ever just want to be Victoria Spencer's friend before wanting to sleep with her first. Christian may have a huge crush on her, but I can assure you everyone does at one point. Shit, even Luke and I wanted her until we got to know her personality better." Drew snickers after his rather critical remark.

"Hey, she's not that bad," Christian says, frowning at Drew now.

Luke chuckles. "Of course you'd think that, you're so hung up on getting her to notice you, you don't really notice anything important about her."

"That's not true. I do notice things about her other than her appearance. I noticed how well she is with kids," Christian remarks, making Luke roll his eyes.

"Did you also notice how she's so well with them because she's related to them? I bet you twenty bucks that if it was a stranger's kid she was taking care of, she'd be the total stuck up princess she always acts like," Luke says.

"If you guys don't like her why do you always hang out with her?" I ask, wondering how I didn't notice until they said something that they weren't too fond of Victoria.

Drew turns to me. "We like hanging out with Kate—" I see Luke raise a brow at Drew that he studiously ignores—"and Victoria is always with her. And we really only tolerate her, I mean some days she's not so bad, but she's just so self-involved it's hard to hold a conversation with her that actually means something."

"You guys don't know what you're talking about," Christian says, anger shining clearly in his eyes. "Victoria's perfect in every sense of the word. You just don't know how to appreciate her and all of her flaws."

Luke rolls his eyes and shakes his head at Christian. "Dude, you're so in denial."

Christian gives him a dirty look. "Whatever."

I watch as Christian looks down at his plate with a pensive look on his face. I wonder what's going through his head. He's obviously thinking about Victoria. I find it quite weird, though, how easily Drew and Luke could see through Victoria but Christian can't.

Drew stands up with his plate in his hand. "As fun as this has been, I need to get back to the dorm and do a little bit of studying for that stupid pop quiz Mr. Davis is going to give us. God knows none of us will get any time to study tomorrow with that pointless fundraiser going on. See you later, guys," he says as he dumps his trash into the waste basket and heads toward the exit doors.

Luke stands up next and throws his stuff away too. "I forgot about Mr. Davis' stupid pop quizzes. I should probably study for that too. Ugh, I really hate school. Bye, Andy. Christian." Luke winks at me before he leaves and nods his head to Christian.

For some reason, I feel like Luke is acting like he knows something I don't. _Maybe he figured out you have a V where you're supposed to have a P._ That's not possible though. How would he have figured it out but no one else has? And if he does know, what did I do tell lead him to think I'm not a boy? _Well, you're not the best actor if you didn't know._

"Andy, can I ask you something?" Christian asks me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I look up at him and blink a few times, feeling myself blush for forgetting that he was actually still there. "Uh, yeah, sure."

He gives me an unnerving look that kind of makes me feel uncomfortable. "Do you really not like Victoria?" he asks.

"Um, no, at least not the way you like her," I admit to him.

"Why?"

I frown at him. "Why what?"

"Why don't you like her, like more than a friend like her?"

I shrug, not knowing exactly why he's asking me this or what he's expecting from me. "I just don't. I don't find her attractive in that way, I guess."

He stares at me for a moment. "Well, do you find Kate attractive?"

"Uh, she's okay, too, I suppose. Why are you asking me these questions, Christian?"

He shakes his head and avoids my gaze. "I just, uh, I just, um, I want to get to know you better."

My frown deepens. _Since when does Christian stumble on his words?_ This is quite weird to witness. I always thought of Christian as being self-assured but now he's acting anxious and contemplative. Now I'm really wondering what's going through his head.

"And asking me if I find the only two girls I've met so far is a way of getting to know me better?" I ask in a curious voice.

He avoids my gaze as he gets up and throws his plate into the trash. "You know, I'm a little beat I think I'm gonna head back to the dorm." He doesn't say anything more as he leaves the cafeteria, leaving me with more questions I want answered than he asked.

 _Ugh, just another problem for me to have to deal with later._

 **Thank you all so much for all the wonderful reviews, follows, and favorites!**

 **SS &G xoxo**

 **P.S. Even though updates are becoming more regular, give me some time to edit and post new chapters. I got a new job at a hospital and training starts next week, so I'll be working two jobs and I'd really appreciate it if you guys can be patient as I try to work through this new transition in my life.**


	11. suspicious minds

**Chapter 11—Suspicious Minds**

I sit at the cafeteria table a little longer before I throw my plate away and head back to the room and face Christian again. I don't know what it is about our relationship, but I feel like the more we talk to each other the harder it is to understand him. Like what was with that _I just want to get to know you better_ thing? Couldn't he get to know me better by not asking weird questions?

 _But do you really want him to get to know you better?_ I guess him knowing me better won't be such a good thing considering then my cover will be blown and who knows what would happen after that. Sighing, I get up and toss my empty plate into the trash and turn around and almost slam my face right into a hard chest. I look up and see Luke staring down at me with a smirk on his face.

I give him a lame wave and awkward smile as I stare up at him. "Oh, hey, Luke. I—I didn't see you there," I tell him as I back up to gain some space.

He crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at me with that smirk still on his face. "Hey, Andy. I left my wallet in here by accident." He holds up the leather fold. "I was just coming back to get it." He continues to stare at me, and the expression on his face makes me feel uneasy.

I clear my throat and begin to fidget as he looks down at me. "Okay, well, I, um, I should get going. You know, uh, sleep, and study. I mean get ready for the fundraiser. And . . . yeah, so bye." I wave and dash out of the cafeteria not even glancing back to see if he's looking at me like I'm an idiot. _You are an idiot!_

I get to the hallway where my and Christian dorm is and just lean against the wall for a moment. Why do I feel like Luke knows that I'm not really a boy? What will he say or do when or if he finds out? Will he tell on me? Will I be sent back to Nevada? I rub my hand down my face and through my short, straggly hair and try to take a deep breath to calm my raging thoughts. Maybe I should just talk to him and ask him what he knows, and if he tells me he knows my secret then make him promise not to say anything? But what if he doesn't know anything, and I give him hints and he figures it out then?

Ugh, I don't know what to do. I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes, wishing for a moment that I was somewhere safe where I didn't have to lie about anything and I could just be myself without judgement or being scrutinized for looking a certain way.

I straighten away from the wall and turn to open the door. When I step into the room Christian immediately looks at me and then looks back down at his notebook. Feeling suddenly exhausted, I don't even pay attention to him as I grab my pajamas and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, and then leave the bathroom to snuggle into bed. I face away from Christian so my back is to him and close my eyes, wanting to put this weird day behind me.

But as life would have it, I can never get what I really want when Christian calls out to me.

"Yeah?" I answer, still facing away from him.

"Why do you always get dressed in the bathroom?"

I pause for a moment as I try to think about what to say, but he continues to talk. "I mean, I'm not judging you or anything, but I mean—I think—uh, I just want you to know that you don't have to be embarrassed about your body. We may all look different but we essentially have the same thing, and I know it has to be exhausting being self-conscious all the time."

If I didn't have a crush on the boy before, I definitely do know. How ironic is it I was just saying I wished to live in a non-judgmental place, and then he tells me this. I feel myself smile a little bit and wish just for a moment I was a normal girl and we were in a normal setting and I could tell him how I really feel about him.

"Okay," I simply say, and then close my eyes, thinking that just for a little while, maybe everything will be alright.

….

I wake up the next morning feeling rested but not ready to leave my bed, especially knowing Victoria is waiting for me somewhere, wanting to introduce me to her parents and anxious to get me alone so she can show me that she's the type of girl I'm supposed to be into. I shiver at the thought, knowing that even if I really _was_ a boy, she still wouldn't be my type.

There's a knock on the door, and I glance over and see Christian still snoozing away, his face relaxed and beautiful. I smile when I notice his lips are slightly parted and a low snore escapes from his mouth. I could watch him sleep all day, and I want to, until someone knocks on the door again reminding me that I should probably answer it.

I slide out of bed and trudge to the door, opening it and finding Ethan on the other side, surprisingly sans Colten.

"Hey," he says, looking at me with a blank expression.

"Hi," I say back simply, staring at him, wondering what he wants.

"I came here to tell Christian something but I can see he's still asleep," he tells me glancing halfway into the room and looking at Christian as he stays oblivious to the world.

"I'll tell him if you want," I say with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Uh, okay, well his parents are here, they came in early with my parents, and his mom told my mom that she's expecting Christian to be in the field early to help with the setup. And well, everyone knows that it's not the best idea to get on Mrs. Grey's bad side."

I nod my head as I think about seeing everyone else's family and yet I'll have no one. _Stop acting as if that's a bad thing, you don't want your mother and that bastard here embarrassing you._ I sigh and clear my mind, focusing on what Ethan is saying to me.

"So you should probably wake him up soon. I wouldn't put it past his mom to barge in here and drag him out by the ear."

I nod my head, an amused smirk on my face as I imagine Christian's mom literally dragging him around the school just by his ear. "Sure, I'll wake him up before ten."

"Cool," Ethan says. "I'll see you around, Andy." He waves good bye before turning away and heading back down the hall. I close the door and stand there for a moment, thinking that Ethan really isn't so bad after all and maybe he really did mean his apology, but I still don't trust Colten. I wonder where he was; he and Ethan are usually always glued at the hip.

I glance over at the clock reading the digital numbers and think I have enough time to take a shower and get dressed before I have to wake up Christian or watch him face the wrath of his formidable sounding mother. I chuckle to myself at the thought, and then my amusement fades away when I realize I'll be meeting a few other students' parents, and that may not be a good thing. Adults are usually always more perceptive than adolescents, what if they see right through me immediately and rat me out to Principal O'Brien?

I try to push the worrisome thought to the back of my mind as I hop into the shower and then get dressed. When I'm smelling like Dove _for men_ and have minty fresh breath, I hurry and put what I'm hoping is presentable enough clothing for the fundraiser today and stand on the side of Christian's bed as I stare down at him. I say his name and lightly tap on his shoulder, hoping that he'll wake up with the added small touch. Surprise, surprise he's still snoring away. I poke him a little harder. Still nothing. I even flick him on the ear, but his eyes don't even do so much as twitch.

"Christian," I say louder. Still nothing.

I try shaking his shoulder, but he still doesn't wake up. I step back and look down at him as I think of another way that could get him up. Maybe a glass of water would work? Or maybe a blow horn? Oh, what about that one kids snake? I snort, thinking of how I would even get the demon serpent in here when I'm too scared to even look at the thing.

Looking down I take a deep breath, and think maybe the best way to get him awake is just to take away his comfort. Grabbing the edges of his comforter, I pull hard. But apparently I over estimated how much strength I would need and end up falling flat on my back, taking Christian's comforter and Christian down with me. We both fall to the floor with a groan, and I open my eyes to find his already looking at me.

"What the hell, Steele?" he mumbles as he finds his feet again.

"I—I was trying to wake you up," I explain as he stands above me and runs his hands through his hair and down his face. I watch his muscles move under his skin and feel myself leaning on my elbows as I just gaze up at him.

He stops moving and looks down at me. "What?" he asks, giving me a weird look.

I blink rapidly and sit up, remembering where I am and who I'm supposed to be. _You're a girl disguised as a straight boy, not a gay one! Stop drooling!_

"Uh, I—nothing. Just that, um, you should probably get ready, Ethan came by and said your mother is here."

"My mother is here?" Christian all but shouts. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. The woman is going to kill me!"

I try to hold in my giggles as he runs around the room like a headless chicken, gathering what he needs before he runs to the bathroom and slams the door behind him. I stand up and throw his comforter back onto his bed.

Well the days already off to a rather unusual start. I can only hope it doesn't go downhill from here.

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 **SS &G xoxo**


	12. Two can keep a secret

**Chapter 12—Two Can Keep a Secret**

It's only noon and I feel like I'm ready to blow out my brain. And I think it's safe to assume that the only reason I'm feeling like this is because of one Victoria Spencer.

The girl is like a pesky insect; no matter how many times you try to keep her away, she always finds her way back to you. Every time I find myself being pulled to a different station at this stupid function, I find her right behind me, just waiting for the moment she can corner all by myself and destroy my virtue. I shudder at the thought of being anywhere alone with the girl, and even more confounding is how Christian even developed a crush on the creature.

I'm quietly trying to find a place where no one else is to find a little solace, but I'm called away by a woman's voice. I turn around and find Christian's mother walking toward me with a warm smile. If I wasn't so annoyed by my situation at the moment, I would be in total admiration of this woman. She's so nice and understanding, it makes me envy Christian a little that he was blessed with such a caring mother.

"Andy, dear, there you are," she says, walking toward me with that warm smile that never seems to leave her face. "Darren is no longer available to do the dunk tank, do you mind filling in for him?"

I look up at her curious face, knowing that there's no way I could deny her, no matter how bad of an idea this is. I give her what I hope is an amiable smile and nod my head.

"Sure, Mrs. Grey." Inside I'm growling at her and asking God why I have such bad luck.

"Oh, call me Grace, dear, Mrs. Grey is my mother-in-law." She looks down at me with a gentle smile, and no matter how annoyed I am at having to be involved in this boring event, I can't help but smile back at her.

I just nod my head, knowing I'll never call her by her first name. That'd be too weird, and I don't know how appreciative Christian would be if I called his mother by her first name.

"You're a quiet one, aren't you?" she asks me. I look up at her and am about to say something but she continues to talk. "Very different from Christian's other friends, not that that's a bad thing, actually I'm glad Christian met you. And he seems to really enjoy having you as a roommate. Whenever I call to see how he's doing, somehow he finds a way to involve you in the conversation."

I gaze up at her with a shocked expression. Christian talks about me to his mother? _That's odd and very, very unexpected._

"Really?" I squeak. I clear my throat and blink a few times up at her. "I—I didn't think Christian liked me much. I just assumed he thought I was his weird roommate."

Grace waves her hand through the air, as if shooing away the idea. She laughs too, with an amused grin settled on her lips. "Oh, sweetie, if I didn't know about his ridiculous crush on Miss Spencer, I'd have thought my baby boy was gay the way he goes on about you. But I guess he just likes having you as a friend."

She smiles down at me and pats me gently on the shoulder when we approach the dunk booth. "Thanks for filling in, Andrew, the dunk tank seems to be the most popular booth this year." She glances back at the long line of kids waiting their turn to watch some poor innocent fall into a 30 gallon tank of cold water. _I wonder what type of sicko invented this form of torture and persuaded everyone to find it amusing._

"Well, I'll see you around, dear. Have fun!"

I watch as Grace walks away, while I try to process this newfound information. Christian talks about me to his mother? Why? I don't understand, I thought he couldn't stand me. I mean, I know sometimes he finds me amusing by all my sputtering and clumsiness, but I thought he tolerated me because I had no place else to go.

"Hey, dude, are you the replacement?" Some kid in a baseball cap and torn khaki shorts asks me as he stands next to the dunk tank.

I look up at him and sigh, and begin walking toward my demise. I really hope all of these people have no aim. I'm not really in the mood to have my skin pierced by cold beads of water, even more so I don't want people to see anything through my shirt. Everyone would know my secret then, and I would have no way of hiding it.

Climbing up the steps and walking across the board, I slide over onto the seat and sit on the plank. The ticket collector dude motions the first kid forward and hands him the ball. The brown haired kid gives me an evil smirk, narrowing his eyes at me. He takes aim, and I hold my breath, praying that his scrawny little arm won't even be able to lift the ball over his shoulders. He releases the ball and I almost fist pump in victory as the ball completely misses the target.

I give the kid a crying face as I pretend to rub my eyes. He flicks me off and walks away in a pout, to which I can't help but laugh at.

Apparently there is a God and he answered my prayers, because for the next five minutes each contender misses the target and I'm safe from being discovered. My victory is short lived, though, when Drew and Luke get in line, giving me teasing smiles. My heart sinks slowly to the pit of my stomach, watching, almost as if in slow motion, as Drew takes the ball, aims, and throws directly at the target. I don't even have time to scream as I fall straight into frigid water, sinking straight to the bottom before I bob back up, gasping for air.

I resurface to the sounds of cheering as the crowd laughs and claps, numerous fingers being pointed at me. The first kid that missed is standing in front of the tank making fun of me as he points and laughs. I roll my eyes and climb out of the tank.

Scooting over to the ledge and climbing down the steps, I look at the ticket collector dude and say, "Find another victim." I snatch away the towel he hands me and race toward the outdoor locker rooms before he can say anything. I make sure no one is following me as I make my escape so I'm in no danger of being discovered.

I let out a loud sigh of relief when I find the locker rooms completely deserted and rush to the stalls, striping faster than I ever have to get my now freezing clothes off my skin. I wrap the towel around my naked body as I slowly peak out of the stall, making sure the coast is clear, and then go to the hand dryers, trying to dry my clothes to a semi-dry state.

I was just thinking of how I wish the doors to the locker rooms had a twistable lock so I'd feel less on edge, when the door opens and in steps Luke. I turn around so fast I practically spin on my feet, and think about dashing to the stalls again to hide myself, but I'm too late and have no idea how I'm going to dig myself out of this.

He looks up at me up and down, his eyes settling on mine as he gives me a scrutinizing glare. I stand before him, shivering in nothing but a towel covering all my bits and pieces, and a beet red face.

He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Andy? Assuming that is your real name, of course."

I gulp hard as I try to think of something believable enough to say, but come up blank.

 _What the hell am I supposed to do now?_

 **I know it's been a couple weeks since the last update, but I did warn you guys to be patient as I try to adapt to having two jobs. For those who were patient-good things come to those who wait, so I hope this chapter makes up for my absence.**

 **Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites!**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	13. friend or foe

**Chapter 13—Friends and Foes**

"I—I can explain," I mumble, taking a few steps back as Luke stands tall and takes a step toward me.

He shrugs his shoulders in a nonchalant way and stares at me expectantly. "Okay," he says simply.

I pull the towel tighter around me as my heart rate spikes and I feel myself begin to panic. My breathing rate increases and the room begins to turn dark, like there's a dimmer switch and he's slowly turning off the lights until everything becomes fuzzy and colors begin to fade. I look around in a panic, searching through my anxiety for fresh oxygen.

I feel large hands grab my shoulders and a voice loudly telling me to breathe. It takes me a while to get my breathing under control as I gasp for air, but I slowly begin to settle as the voice tells me to take deep, cleansing breaths.

I blink and look up to find Luke staring down at me with concerned etched on his face and a worried look in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asks, squatting so he's eyes level with me. I didn't even realize I was sitting on the floor.

I clear my throat, but realize I'm still too shaken up to talk so I just nod my head in acquiescence.

"I think you had a panic attack," he comments, still gazing at me in worry. "Does that happen a lot?"

I look down, biting my lip. The last time it happened I was being cornered by that _man_ , but before he could do anything, my world turned dark. I didn't know how much time had passed after I woke up in a heap on the floor. My mother was nowhere to be found, but when I told her about what had happened, she told me to stop being so dramatic. That was all I needed to hear to motivate me to get the hell out of that place before I was raped by a pedophile and away from a neglectful mother.

I look up at Luke once more, noting his sympathetic gaze and it makes me wonder deep down if I could tell him about my life without him judging me or going to Mr. O'Brien. He stands up and offers me his hand. I gently place my hand in his, letting him pull me up without much effort.

I look up at him again, and for some reason feel my face grow hot. "Thanks," I whisper, avoiding eye contact with him.

I begin gathering my clothes, and move to one of the stalls. Despite the fact that they're soaked and cold, I put them back on. Before I unlock the stall door, I silently pray that Luke has left, but when the door swings open he's standing in the same place he was before I rushed to get dressed.

I keep my gaze away from his as I straighten my clothes, and it's such an awkward silence that just breathing in the same room with him makes me uncomfortable.

"Soo . . . are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to guess?" he asks, finally breaking the silence.

My eyes swing over to his. "I don't think you'd understand," I tell him, stupidly thinking that that dumb explanation would throw him off my trail.

"Try me." He crosses his arms back over his chest and stares down at me. By the set of his jaw I know he's not going to let this go. I let out a loud sigh and walk over to one of the sinks to lean against it.

"Well, for starters, I'm not a boy."

He chuckles. "That's pretty obvious. Plus, you don't really make the best boy."

I look at him incredulously. "You mean you knew this whole time I was a girl?" I ask in shock.

He shrugs. "Not the whole time. When I first met you I just thought you were one of those weird, nerdy kids who wasn't so good in social situations, but the more I talked to you and watched your mannerisms, I realized you acted more like a girl than a boy. Then Christian made a comment about how you always wear loose shirts and seem to be self-conscious of your body. I guess I just put two and two together."

I stare at him in horror as I think of everyone else who might know my secret.

"It's okay, don't freak out on me again. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows. I don't think Drew even knows, otherwise he would have mentioned it to me."

I nod my head silently as I try to calm my breathing. "That's good. No one else can find out about this." I stare up at him with a pleading expression. "Promise me you won't mention this to anyone else."

He immediately nods his head and places his hand over his heart. "I promise."

I let out a breath of relief and lean further against the sink as I try to gather my thoughts. If anyone did find out I have no idea what would happen. I have too much to risk, and I can't go back to that hellhole. Who knows what he would do to me when they found out where I ran away to. _If they're even looking for you._ I inwardly roll my eyes at the thought. I doubt they are looking for me, and if my mother was, I'm sure her douchebag idiot husband persuaded her that my disappearance is a good thing. He's such an ass.

"So, why the disguise? Are you in legal trouble or something?" Luke asks, pulling me back into reality.

I bite my lip as I think of what to tell him. "It's—it's really complicated," I begin, looking over at him. "I'm not really sure you'd want to know the details of my pathetic life."

"Actually I'm quite curious. It's not every day you hear of a girl impersonating herself as a guy to enroll in an all-boys school."

I turn and face the mirror as I stare blindly at my reflection. I take a deep breath of air before I open my mouth. "To cut a long story short, my mother remarried a man who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself. My mother wasn't going to choose me over her husband, so I ran away. I didn't want to sacrifice my education because of my mother, but I didn't want her to look for me in an obvious place. So I came here," I add with a shrug. "I figured the last place they'd look for their daughter is at an all-boys school."

I look over at Luke to watch his expression. He looks pensive before an expression of unsettlement falls onto his face. He gazes at me with sympathy. "Did—did he . . . touch you?" he asks carefully.

I shake my head. "He got close a few times, but I made sure we were never in at home alone. The last time we were alone I hyperventilated and passed out. When I woke up I was in the same place he cornered me at, and when I told my mom she didn't believe me. That was the last night I saw them before I caught a bus here."

He gazes at me, an emotion in his eyes I can't decipher before he shows me his boyish smile. "Well now that I know that you're no longer what I thought you were, I don't feel right referring to you as Andy." He snickers at me and I can't help but giggle along with him. "What's your real name?" he asks me.

"Ana. Technically it's Anastasia, but that's what my father calls me when I've done something to upset him." I can't help but smile at the thought of my dad. I can't wait for him to come home. I only have four more months before I can see him again, and he gets to stay home for good.

"Ana it is. Don't worry, I'll only refer to you using your female name when we're alone." He smiles at me and I can't help but smile back, grateful that I'm finally able to share this huge secret with someone and have faith that he won't tell anyone else about it.

"Thank you, Luke," I say, looking up at him in gratitude.

"For what?" he asks, cocking his head to the side.

I give him a shy smile. "For being a good friend."

He gives me a genuine smile, coming to me to throw his arm over my shoulder. "No problem. And don't worry, now that I know why you're so fragile looking, I won't be so rough."

I laugh as we both leave the locker room. "I appreciate it."

 _As does my every bone and muscle._

 **I'm not a fan of this chapter-don't know why, but hope you guys like it.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites!**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	14. Lost in Space

**Chapter 14—Lost in Space**

According to principal O'Brien the fundraiser was a success and we raised over ten thousand dollars. And it was a success for me too. After Luke and I left the locker room, we got word that some kid accidently tripped into Victoria and her dress was smeared in chili dog sauce. She ran back to her room in a fit that her dress was ruined, and I no longer was on guard, worrying about her prancing on me and demanding I pay more attention to her.

I tried to avoid Christian's mom like the plague though, especially after she told me what she did. _Still have no idea what to think about her comment._ But I did catch her looking at me a few times before I walked away and she always had this weird gleam in her eye; she was looking at me like she was privy to information I wasn't.

I didn't see Christian for most of the fundraiser. He was manning the shooting booth, and I assume no one wanted to switch out with him because he stayed at that booth the entire time. When the fundraiser was over, he went out to eat with his family and by the time he got back to the dorm, I was already in bed, exhausted after all the running around and relaying my darkest secret to Luke.

After telling Luke my secret, I immediately noticed a change in his attitude toward me. He kept standing close to me, as if protecting me, and he made sure not to talk to me in the same relaxed way he did before I confirmed that we don't have the same anatomy. It's like he assumed the position of my big brother, and I'm silently praying that's how he views his relationship with me. I don't think I'd know what to do if he developed feelings for me.

The fundraiser was almost a month ago, and since that time Luke and I have grown a lot closer. I'll admit that now that he knows, it's a lot easier talking to him and no matter whom we're with, I instinctively choose Luke over anyone else. At first I think everyone was a little confused by the change of our dynamic, but no one commented on it and just went with the change. Except Christian.

He's been a little short with me and whenever I try to talk to him, he always seems to be in a grumpy mood. He barely looks at me, but when I'm not looking at him, I can see him gazing at me with a weird look on his face, like he's trying to solve an equation.

Luke and I are sitting at the lunch table with Drew and Steven—another kid Drew introduced me to a week ago—when Christian and Ethan come up to the table with trays in hand. I look up and smile at Christian and Ethan. Ethan smiles back at me while Christian just looks between Luke and me with that same weird expression before he takes his seat.

Drew and Steven continue to talk about whatever boys talk about as I gaze at Christian trying to figure out what his problem is. I find myself frowning at him in confusion when Luke nudges me to grab my attention.

"What's wrong?" he asks me.

I shake my head. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"Save some brain power for Mr. Fischer's test tomorrow," he suggests in a teasing voice.

I groan dramatically and laugh when he laughs at my exaggeration. "You just had to remind me. By the way, have you noticed how gigantic his front teeth are? I'm afraid he's going to slice off his bottom lip with those huge chompers of his."

Luke throws his head back in laughter. "Everyone has noticed. There's this rumor going around that he's part beaver part sloth."

"I get the beaver by why the sloth?"

"Because his brain works as slow as a sloth moves."

We stare at each other for a moment, and then break out into laughter. I laugh so hard tears come into my eyes, and I'm gasping for air as I hold my stomach. The worst thing about the joke is that it has some truth to it. A student asked him if he could use the calculator on his phone to finish a problem, and Mr. Fischer responded, 'Sure, as long as you don't use your phone.' Everyone looked around wondering what the hell he was talking about before the kid just shook his head and took out his phone to finish the problem.

"I wonder how he became a teacher in the first place. You would think they would have the teachers take an exam to test their knowledge," Luke says. I laugh again, wondering how many answers Mr. Fischer would get right.

Luke and I are pulled from our amusement when we hear someone clearing their throat from the other side of the table. We both look over and find Christian staring daggers at us. _Jeez, what is his problem?_

"So, Luke, I heard you hooked up with Jessica Welsh after the fundraiser," Christian says after taking a sip of his water.

He's glaring at Luke as I look between the two of them, wondering where all the hostility came from.

Luke just gazes at him impassively as he shrugs his shoulders, acting unbothered by Christian's comment. "I heard you punched Colten in the face after he made a snide comment about Andy."

My eyes widen as they dart to Christian. He avoids my gaze as his eyes darken further at Luke. _I was wondering where Colten had been in the last few days._

"What did he say?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter," Christian snaps, still staring at Luke. "All that matters is that Luke hasn't been honest, and he's been lying to you."

I look between them with a frown, wondering what the hell is going on and why the temperature just dropped a few degrees.

"What are you talking about?" I ask Christian, but he ignores me. "What's he talking about, Luke?"

"I don't know," he answers simply, still gazing at Christian impassively.

Christian suddenly stands up, dislodging his plate and moving the table a few inches forward with the force of his movements. "The fuck you don't know what I'm talking about!"

"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" Drew asks.

"He's what's wrong with me," Christian practically yells, pointing his finger at Luke.

Luke holds his hands in the air defensively. "You're pointing your finger at the wrong person, bro. If you should have a problem with anyone it should be Victoria."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means maybe you should think before you speak, and not accuse people of things when said people are trying to help you."

Christian sneers at him before his fiery gaze lands on me. I almost lean back in my seat at the hostile look in his eye.

"I guess it's clear whose side you're on."

He doesn't give me a chance to say or do anything as he storms off, leaving his barely eaten food on the table. I watch in shock as Christian storms out of the cafeteria, Ethan behind him, in complete and utter shock.

I look around, and everyone but Luke is wearing the same expression that reads: _What the hell just happened?_

 **I know, I know, it's been a while and I could give an excuse as to why I haven't updated in some time but I'll just settle on the explanation that life got in the way. But I have said it before and I will say it again, I'm typically not in the habit of starting things and not finishing it, so even if I'm writing this story until I'm 90 (highly unlikely) I _will_ finish it, no matter what. I hate it when writers don't finish stories on this site and I don't want to be another one.**

 **Thanks for the support, reviews, follows and favorites. You guys keep me writing!**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	15. If I Weren't a Boy

**Chapter 15—If I Weren't a Boy**

When I get back to the dorm room later that evening I'm almost afraid to come face to face with Christian. Luke didn't give me any answers as to Christian's odd behavior, only advising me to talk to Christian about it first. I do want to talk to Christian about it, but I'm not even sure what to ask at this point.

Slowly opening the door to our shared room, I peek my head in and find Christian lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. I know he hears me come in, but doesn't shift his gaze from whatever he's staring at.

I move to my bed and grab pajamas from my dresser and then go to the bathroom to take a shower. When I'm done, I see Christian looking at me from my periphery, but when I look directly at him he quickly looks away. I go to my bed and get under the covers, staring into space as I try to think of something to say to break the awkward tension.

"Victoria told me what happened," Christian says, breaking the silence in the room.

I look over at him with a furrowed brow. "What was that?"

He slowly turns his head and looks at me with that same expression, like he's trying to figure out why the sky is blue.

"Are you really going to play dumb?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Excuse me?"

"You're the one with the stuttering problem, not me."

My mouth falls open at his insult, and then I close it, trying not to let my hurt show at his unnecessary barb. I sit up in bed and decide that it might be time to grow a backbone or forever be the girl that never knows how to stand up for herself and lets everyone walk all over her.

"I may have a stuttering problem, but at least I don't have a habit of chasing after girls that will never want me."

His face falls, and I see hurt flash in his eyes before he dons on a mask of anger.

"I never chased after her."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Really? Because it didn't seem that way. Whenever you two happened to be within the same vicinity of each other you followed her around like a lost puppy with drool running down his chin."

"Well I guess I'm no better than you! You've been clinging on to Luke like a leech!" He's glaring at me, his arms crossed over his chest as he stands straight and rigid on the side of his bed.

 _Why is it that even when he looks pissed as hell and I have no idea why we're even arguing, he still looks sexy as sin?_

"What does Luke have to do with this?"

"He has everything to do with this! If it wasn't for him distracting you, you would have been able to help me with Victoria at the fundraiser."

I look at him with a confused frown as I try to muddle through his explanation. I don't know if it's from lack of sleep, but it sounds like he's more upset about the fact that I've been hanging out with Luke more than I've been hanging out with him.

"You know what," he says, throwing his hands in the air. "I don't have to explain anything to you."

I watch in utter bewilderment as he storms out of the dorm, slamming the door behind him. I stare at the door for a few moments and the flop against my bed, trying to wrack my brain around Christian's strange behavior. It's like ever since the fundraiser he's been acting strange, almost like he's jealous. But that doesn't make one bit of sense. Why would he be jealous, and of who?

Maybe he was just so used to hanging out with me, that he didn't know how to accept the fact that Luke and I developed the type of friendship we have. Maybe he's feeling left out and he's jealous that he's not as involved as he used to be. But that explanation still doesn't make a lot of sense.

What would Victoria have to do with us? And why does he seem to be so adamant about me helping him gain her attention? None of it really makes sense, and I wonder if I should talk to Luke about it or just settle on the fact that Christian is just a boy and he made up this weird problem that my estrogen infused brain will never be capable of understanding.

As I lie in bed for a few more minutes, trying to wrap my mind around this new, strange problem, I realize that I'm too curious to just sleep on his odd behavior and the weird argument he started.

Sliding my feet into my slippers, I get up to open the door, but when it swings open I find Luke on the other side, his fist in the air as if he was getting ready to knock on the door.

I smile up at him. "I was just literally getting ready to go to your room," I tell him as I open the door wider so he can come in.

He walks over to my bed and sits down, folding his hands and resting them in between his crossed legs. I sit on the other side of him, waiting for him to talk first since he was the one who came to me.

"Did you talk to Christian?" he asks me.

I nod my head and can't help my frown. "Yeah. And it was the weirdest conversation I've ever had, and I've had some weird conversations."

"What did he tell you?" he asks.

I shrug. "Not much, other than basically pouting that you and I have been spending a lot of time together, which has been distracting me away from my plan to help him with Victoria."

I see Luke roll his eyes. "What?" I ask.

He looks at me with a curious gaze. "What?"

"Why did you just roll your eyes?"

Luke sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "I just find him ridiculous."

I narrow my eyes at his explanation. "Why?"

Luke ignores my question and asks one of his own. "Do you like Christian?"

I immediately close my eyes and have to look away so he can't see my expression, but I know my raising blush is giving me away.

He chuckles. "I guess I have my answer."

I look up at him with a panicked expression. He gives me that _give me more credit look._ And I automatically know that he won't be telling anyone that secret either.

"Why?" he finally asks after a short moment of silence.

I lean back on my feet as I kneel beside him and sigh as I think about all of the things that I like about Christian. "I don't know . . ." I shrug as all of his qualities run through my head. "He's sweet when he wants to be, I guess. And he's funny. He's smart, and even when he thinks I'm sleeping I hear him call his mother every night, so it's obvious he loves her. He never judges me, even when I'm being my normal dorky self. He defends me too, even when he doesn't have to. And he's super cute, especially when he smiles, and when he laughs his nose crinkles on the sides and it just makes him more adorable. And—"

"Wow," Luke interjects with an amused look. "You have got it bad for him my friend."

I look away, not wanting to admit how deep my feelings really do go.

"Yeah, but it's not like it really matters how I feel about him. It's not like he'd ever date me. I'm supposed to be a boy remember?" I look a Luke, gesturing to myself in my long t-shirt and boxer shorts that are actually pretty comfortable.

"That wouldn't matter to him if he was gay," Luke suggests, standing up and moving toward the door. "Well, anyway, I just wanted to know what he told you. I should head to bed, we got the stupid test tomorrow." He says with a crooked smile.

I smile back at him as I walk him to the door. "Sure. Sleep well, Loo-key."

He smirks at me. "You too, _ban-Ana Hammock_."

I giggle as I close the door behind him. We came up with the names as a joke. His name is supposed to sound like a loogey and mine banana hammock—aka a speedo. That paints a very appealing picture in my head.

I crawl into the bed, snuggling under the convers and getting comfortable. I just close my eyes when something Luke said pops unbidden back into my mind.

 _That wouldn't matter if he was gay._

Does Luke think Christian is gay? I almost laugh at the thought. Christian could never be gay. He's too much of the ladies' man type of guy to ever be involved with another boy.

I fall asleep amused at the possibility of Christian ever being gay.

 **Thank you guys for the wonderful, encouraging reviews, and the follows and favorites!**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	16. Boys like Girls

**Chapter 16—Boys like Girls**

When I wake up the next morning, Christian isn't in his bed. I wouldn't find that odd if it wasn't six in the morning. _Did he even come back to the room last night?_

I try to push thoughts of Christian aside while I mentally prepare myself for Mr. Fischer's test. When I'm finally dressed, I head to the door and run into Christian as he's walking into the room.

"Oh, um, sorry," I mutter, glancing quickly up at him before looking away and making a move to step around him so I can get into the hall.

"Wait." He grabs my wrist and I turn to look at him. He is looking at me with hesitation in his eyes, and I raise a brow, wondering what's going through his mind.

"Yes?" I ask, starting to get impatient. I wanted to review my notes some before the test.

"I—um, I . . .can you—can we have—will . . ."

I look at him in bewilderment. Since when does Christian Grey have trouble getting words out? I frown up at him. "What is it you're trying to say to me, Christian?" I ask softly, finding it a little adorable how hard it is for him to tell me whatever it is he has to say. _I don't think he'd appreciate me calling him cute, though._

He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, letting go of my wrist and sighing loud enough to blow Piglets house down. "We need to talk. Meet me here later, okay?"

"Oh—" I don't even get to finish saying _kay_ before he walks into the room and closes the door in my face. I shake my head and frown in frustration. If I didn't know any better I'd say someone was having their period. _Maybe I should lend him a tampon?_ I giggle at the image of handing him a tampon. It would be funny to explain why I was handing him a sperm shaped blood absorber, and it would be even funnier explaining why I have one.

I walk down the hall, shaking my head, distracted, as I let my thoughts rattle in my head. I sigh softly, only imagining what this day has in store for me.

….

I'm pretty sure I passed Mr. Fischer's test with flying colors, but I guess only time will tell when he's finished grading, which means I most likely won't know until next Monday. I internally roll my eyes, wishing he wasn't so slow, physically and mentally.

Thankfully the school day is over and I'm on my way back to the dorm to drop off my stuff before heading to the cafeteria with Luke. When I get to the door I'm about to put my key in to unlock it, but I hear a voice on the other side talking pretty loud, and from the tone it's not a conversation that's going well. Feeling like a creep I press my ear against the door and listen to the one-sided slightly muffled conversation.

"No, Mom, I'm not going to ask him that . . . I don't understand why you're so interested in him for? . . . What? No! How could you—? Mother, I'm not gay! . . . I don't know okay, it's just when I'm around him I feel, ugh—you know I don't want to discuss this with you, Mom. . . . No, of course not, it's just too personal and I don't want my mother in my love life. . . . No, I didn't say I love him, I said _love life_! Ugh, I don't even know why I called you, you're not helping me. . . . Yes, I know, Mother, I love you too. . . . Actually, I have to go, Mom, I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye."

I sit there with wide eyes for a moment, trying to process what I heard. His mother thinks he's gay? He feels a certain way around someone? I assume he's talking about Victoria, but doesn't his mother already know about her? And why would he be gay for liking her? I lean against the wall and I'm so invested in my own thoughts that I didn't hear Luke approaching and scream like the girl that I am when he touches my shoulder.

He looks at me in surprise and then breaks out into that smirk that would make my knees jelly if I were any other girl. He raises a brow, "What are you doing?"

I open my mouth to respond just as Christian opens the door. His eyes find mine first, and I see something flicker in his expression before his gaze shifts to Luke. He looks back at me, his previous expression now replaced with a frown. "What's going on out here? I thought I heard a girl scream?"

I will my face not to turn red as Luke gently nudges me in the back. I look up at him quickly before looking back at Christian. "Uh, nothing is going on. I was just coming in . . . to, uh, put my stuff up." I gesture to my book bag as I lift it up to show him.

He raises a brow like he doesn't believe a word I'm saying. He gives Luke a suspicious look before he takes my bag from me and throws it inside the room, then grabs my hand and pushes me behind him. I blink at the back of his head, not fully understanding what's happening.

"Lucas," Christian says.

"Christian," Luke says, though not as seriously, and I swear I see amusement in his green eyes.

"Do you think you can allow me to spend a few minutes with Andy before you try to monopolize all of his time again?" Christian asks.

Luke raises his eyebrows in surprise, then chuckles softly. "Is that what you think I've been doing? Monopolizing his time?"

"Well what else should I call it?"

"I don't know, jealously?" Luke bates him.

I see the back of Christian's shoulders tense as he takes a step closer to Luke. "I have absolutely no reason to be jealous of you and it's quite funny that you would think otherwise."

"And yet neither of us are laughing," Luke mutters.

Christian doesn't say anything as he turns, my wrist in his grip, and walks back into the room. He pulls me along, and as I pass Luke he grins at me as I mouth _what the hell?_ Christian closes the door behind me as I stand and watch as he walks away from the door, muttering under his breath and running his hands through his hair.

He paces back and forth in front of me and I'm not sure what I should say or do, I don't even know why I'm here. Should I ask him if he's okay? _I think asking him if he lost his mind would be a better question._ I don't think he'd appreciate me asking that, even though it does look like he's lost his mind by the way he's pulling at his hair now and biting his lip as if he's in pain.

Not being able to take watching him torture himself any longer, I quickly intercept his path and remove his hands from his hair gently, dropping his hands at his sides.

I stare into his eyes, and standing this close I can see dark blue flecks in his silvery gray eyes. I watch as his pupils dilate the longer we stare at each other, and when I realize that I've been staring at him like a drooling dog, I look down and take a step back. But before I can get too far away from him, he grabs me by my upper arms. I don't even get a chance to ask him what's going on before I feel his lips on mine and every nerve ending in my body fires just a moment before my mind goes completely blank. _Oh. My. God._

 **Guys I know you want more frequent longer updates, but I'm working a full time job that typically requires overtime and sometimes I just don't have the time or energy to write or even update. It can be difficult for me to find my creativeness when my mind and body are exhausted.** **With that said I'd appreciate it if you guys just be patient with me.**

 **Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites.**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	17. Gone Boy

**Chapter 17—Gone Boy**

I stand frozen for a few moments as I try to process that Christian Grey is kissing me. His lips move against mine, and it feels so good that I can't help but respond, forgetting who I am and where I am at the moment. Slowly reaching up I wrap my arms around his shoulders and bury my fingers in his hair as I push my body closer against his. I feel his warm fingers against the back of my neck and it feels so good that I open my mouth slightly to moan, giving his tongue inadvertent access to my mouth. When I feel his tongue tentatively touch mine, my eyes snap open and I push myself away from him.

I take a deep breath as I turn my back on him and try to get my thoughts in order. Oh my God. I just kissed him. He just kissed me! Oh my God. We kissed! Oh my God. I'm supposed to be a boy! Christian Grey theoretically just kissed a boy! Oh my God. He is gay! No, that can't be. _Maybe he knows!_

My blood runs cold as I think about him discovering my secret. Luke already knows and if Christian knows that means it's twice more likely that someone else can find out. I can't let that happen! I can't go back to that place. I won't go back to that place.

But why would he kiss me? Even if he does know I'm a girl that's not a good enough reason to kiss me without my permission. I pace back and forth in front of my bed, gnawing on my bottom lip and pulling vigorously at my over-long hair. Oh man, I need a haircut. _Not important!_ Right, right I need to stay focused. But how can I stay focused when Christian just kissed me?

His voice stops me. "Andy, I—I'm sorry," he says, his voice sounding raspy and confused. I turn to look at him and see him running his hands through his hair again, a frightened, uncertain look on his face. "I don't know what's wrong with me." I hear him mutter under his breath.

He looks up at me with wide, wary eyes before he abruptly turns away and quickly leaves the room, not saying another word and shutting the door quietly behind him. I stare at the door for a moment before I plop down on my bed, shocked, confused and a little scared.

I feel like I don't know what to do with myself. Should I go after him? Should I stay here? Should I just wait for him to come back and then talk about it then? If I do that then what do I ask him? _Hey, do you realize I'm a boy and you're a boy, and you just kissed me?_ That would be an eloquently put question. And what if he is gay? I don't want to make him feel bad about it. But then again, he kissed _me_ so I guess theoretically that wouldn't make him gay. But he doesn't know that. Or does he? Why would he leave instead of just telling me he knows I'm a girl _if_ he did know?

I fall back on my bed with every thought imaginable running through my head. I don't know how I'm supposed to process this. I mean, I don't even know how to feel. And what's even worse is that was my first kiss, and it was a kiss I shared with a boy dressed as a boy. _This would make a funny story one day._ Oh, how I wish one day would come so I don't have to deal with today. Why does all the bad stuff always happen to me? Why am I always the one that has to deal with bad luck?

I continue thinking about all the possibilities that can happen from here on out between me and Christian. Before I know it, I'm dozing off wondering, even though it wasn't an ideal kiss, if I'll dream about kissing my ideal boy again.

….

I wake the next morning in the clothes I fell asleep in last night. And when images of last night tattoo themselves behind my eyelids I look over to see that Christian's bed hasn't been slept in. It's still perfectly made, not even a wrinkle in the sheets is noticeable. I frown as I think about where he is, but when I glance at the clock all thoughts of Christian evaporate as I race to get dress and make it to class on time.

When lunch break comes around, I'm actively looking for Christian and I don't know whether to be concerned or not when I don't see him.

"Everything okay?" Luke asks from beside me at the lunch table.

I give him a smile and nod my head. "Of course. After that show Mrs. Hefflefinger put on I don't think my day can get any better," I joke, making everyone who heard me laugh around the table. I'm grateful when Drew goes into detail of how our Biology teacher fell into a trough of fertilizer/manure during class while she was discussing the circle of life. As they continue to discuss how much the smell of manure resembles the smell of another student's BO, I think about Christian's absence. We have two classes in the morning and I haven't seen him in either. We have our last class together and I can only hope that he'll be there. I don't know if I should feel offended or worried.

Is he avoiding me? Does he never want to see me again? Was the kiss that bad that he can't stand to ever look at my face? I feel a little downhearted at my thoughts and am glad when lunch is finally over and we all head back to our classes.

By the end of the day there is still no sign of Christian. His absence begins to become an everyday thing and by Friday I feel a little worried. I want to ask someone if they know anything, but I don't want to have to tell them why I think he disappeared.

I end up asking Luke as he comes to my room Friday night as he comes to pick me up since we have plans to see a movie off campus.

"Hey, Ana, you ready?" Luke asks, shutting the door behind him as I put on my shoes.

I look up at him and nod but make no move toward the door. Crossing my arms over my chest I look at him and think of a way to ask him about Christian without sounding stupid. I know I can trust Luke with my life, but I really don't want to have to tell him that I had my first kiss with Christian and start in on all the questions again.

"What?" he asks, raising a brow.

"Um, I don't really know how to ask," I murmur quietly, feeling awkward, while I do the cliché shy girl move by putting one foot behind the other and nervously rub the back of my calf.

"You can ask me anything, you know that, Ana."

"I know, it's just that it's kinda . . . awkward."

I sit down on my bed and he sits next to me. "Well, what's it about?"

"Christian," I say.

"And what about him?"

I sigh, then shrug my shoulders. "He's gone."

I look up in time to see him frown in reaction. "What do you mean, he's gone?"

I point over to his bed. "He hasn't come back in four days and I haven't seen him in class either. It's like he vanished."

Luke looks surprised. "He didn't tell you he went back home because his grandfather had a stroke?"

I gaze up at him confused. "What? No. He didn't mention anything like that to me." I look down at my hands. Why didn't he tell me he had a family emergency? And how did I not hear about this? _Maybe because you were too busy sulking and overthinking every little detail._

"Yeah, every one noticed the first day he was gone and then Mr. Jansen let it slip that he was allowed a week off for a family emergency. I assumed you knew, which I figured was the reason for your gloomy attitude all week."

I shake my head. Well at least I know he didn't disappear because of me. _Yeah, that should have been obvious it's not like your kiss was that great._ Well, even if it wasn't great, would that give him reason to avoid me? I'm not sure, but now that I know that at least there is a specific reason for his absence I feel a little lighter, despite the circumstances of his disappearance. I make a mental note to pray for his family and grandfather and hope that he will get better soon. Hopefully he didn't die.

Standing up abruptly, I look down at Luke with a raised brow and say, "Ready to go?"

He only nods his head as he follows me out of the room.

 **I'm going to start writing more on the weekends so that I can write more chapters ahead, unfortunately the weekends are short but your guys enthusiasm and support makes me want to write. Hopefully this chapter will hold you over until I can get the next chapter posted.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites!**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	18. Truth or Lie

**Chapter 18—Truth or Lie**

The weekend passes uneventfully which I'm thankful for. I spent most of my time with Luke. Even though most people would probably enjoy having their dorm to themselves, I don't like being alone. Call it paranoia but I feel like I have a better chance of being caught by my mother and her disgusting husband when I'm by my lonesome, besides Luke is great company.

After leaving his room, I head back to mine and am more than surprised to find Christian unpacking a bag of clothes on his bed. He looks up at me when I step into the room and close the door softly behind me. I'm not really sure what to say, but I settle with saying, "Hi," because it's safe and he can't take it as a bad thing.

"Hi," he responds, dropping his clothes and returning his attention to me.

I walk further into the room, feeling completely awkward and out of place. "How—How's your grandfather?" I ask him, secretly hoping he's okay. I don't really know how to comfort people after a loved one passes. _What if he starts crying?_ I don't think I've ever seen a boy cry. How am I supposed to act? What am I supposed to say? I don't know boy codes for situations like this.

Christian shrugs his shoulders but avoids eye contact with me. "He's doing better. He's not the same but he's still alive. That's all I could really ask for."

I nod my head as I slowly make my way to my bed and sit down on the edge, my knees facing the edge of his bed. "Well, I'm glad to hear he's okay," I state quietly, looking at him to gauge his reaction.

He hasn't looked at me in the eyes since I walked into the room. Should I ask him why? _No, why would you do that, idiot!_ I don't know what to do. I've never been in this situation before. I don't know if I should bring up the kiss or just pretend that it never happened. Should I offer to ask Principal O'Brien to switch dorms so he doesn't have to look at me anymore?

Oh my God, am _I_ about to cry? I've been so emotional the past few days and I don't know why. Oh, no. No, no, no. I feel the blood drain from my face as I realize I just started my period. I need to go to the bathroom, but how am I supposed to grab a tampon with him in the same room? _Well you have to do something or the blood stains on your butt are going to give you away!_

Oh, man. Why did Shark week have to start today? Of all days. I'm tempted to look up at the ceiling and throw my arms wide and scream out _Why me, God. Why is it always me?_ If only it was thunder storming it would be the finishing dramatic touch.

"Andy!"

I blink and focus on Christian. "Huh?"

"I've been calling your name for like a full minute."

"Oh." I shake my head to clear my distracting thoughts, wondering how my mind can take me to the oddest of places at the most inconvenient times. "I'm sorry. What did you want?" I feel a little shiver run down my back as I feel myself _leaking_. Oh, God. I need the bathroom! It's gonna look like the Red Sea in here soon and then it really _will_ be Shark Week. I'll be in pieces if Christian starts questioning why I have red stains on my butt. Jeez, Ana, Focus!

"I said I think we need to talk," Christian tells me, coming around to the area between are beds and sits down on the edge of his, facing me. He stares at me a moment, as if trying to see deep inside my soul, and then abruptly stands up and comes to sit next to me. I just as abruptly stand up and move away from him. He looks at me confused and I think a little hurt.

But I can't sit next to him. I've heard about pheromones and stuff. What if I give off a pheromone that only boys can smell when a girls on her period? Or worse what if I stay there and get up and there's a huge blood stain on the quilt. Then what can I say, _Oh, don't worry about that, I must've just sat on a ketchup packet._ Why would I be carrying a ketchup packet in my pocket? These pants don't even have pockets!

Okay, Ana, focus! You need the bathroom before you need to talk, because if you don't get to the bathroom then all you'll be doing is talking.

Clearing my throat and barely looking at him, I say, "Let me use the bathroom first."

He gives me a funny look but nods his head anyway. Not thinking too hard about it, I move as casually as possible, knowing Christian is watching my every move, and grab the small bag I head in the bottom nightstand drawer with my tampons and pads in them.

"What are you doing?" he asks and I can hear the confusion in his voice.

"I—I'm going to the bathroom."

"Yeah, but why are you taking that bag with you?"

I look down at the bag and back at him, then shrug my shoulders as I move quickly to the bathroom. "I need to shave," I mutter when I'm in the bathroom and know and can't really ask me anymore questions without the door cutting him off.

Before the door fully closes I hear him say in a bewildered voice, "Shave what?"

 _Yeah, Ana, shave what?_ I bang my hand against my forehead. Of all the things I had to say, why would it have to be that I'm shaving? I can't say I'm shaving my legs. And I don't have facial hair. Ugh, whatever. At least I would be leaving a blood trail, and I guess that's all that matters.

After I'm done doing my business, I wash my hands and tentatively open the door, hoping that by some miracle God finally decided to spare me and have Christian be gone, but as I look out, I see Christian still sitting on the edge of my bed staring out into space. I hold in my sigh as I open the door further and move to the side of my bed to place my bag back into its place.

"That was a quick shave," he comments, and I think I hear humor in his voice.

I look at him to judge his expression but he's not giving anything away. I'm not sure exactly what to do so I stand where I am and wait for him to talk. He raises a brow at me and pats the side on my bed next to him.

I shake my head and move around the bed and sit on the edge of his bed, facing him. I watch him as he watches me as I sit down. It's all more awkward than it should be, but I have no idea of how to break the tension.

"So . . . about what happened, you know, between us—"

I feel my cheeks flame as I think about it, with him sitting across from me. I squirm on his bed as I try to get the feel of his lips moving against mine out of my head and focus on what he's saying, but it's hard to do that when what he's saying is coming from those amazing lips.

"We don't have to talk about it," I hear myself blurt out.

He frowns at me. "Why not?"

"It doesn't have to be a big deal, Christian."

"But it is."

"But it doesn't have to be." Maybe if we don't talk about it, maybe we can move on and act like nothing happened and the chances of him finding out who I really am what be so high.

"But it is!" He stands up and pulls at his hair as he glares at me. "Do you have any idea how I've been feeling, Andy? Do you have any idea of the thoughts that have been going through my head? About the stuff I want to do. To _you._ A boy!" He starts pacing in front of me as he runs his hands through his hair over and over again. "I thought I was in love with Victoria and the moment you step into that door it's like I don't even know who I am anymore. I've always been so confident about who I am, and you have me questioning every part of me!"

He turns and stands in front of me, and I can see the torment in his eyes. I did this to him. I've made him feel this way. Is my state of mind and possibly my safety more important than his suffering? _Maybe you can trust him with your secret, Ana?_ But how can I be so sure? _How could you have been sure to trust Luke?_ That was different, I had no way of _not_ telling him, he caught me red-handed. But as I look at Christian and see the confusion and frustration in his eyes, I know I can't let him go on thinking that he's something that he isn't. Maybe I can tell him without telling him _why_?

But how would I do that? That would just create more questions on his part. But I can't not tell him. The poor guy thinks he's gay and it's tearing him up inside, though I don't know if it's because he just has gay feelings—that technically aren't really gay feelings—toward me, or if he's just upset about it because he never realized he was before. _Does it really matter?_ Ugh, no, and I don't know what matters right now. I can't think properly, especially when I feel like a gallon of my blood is pouring out of my lady parts. I don't have enough brain oxygen to deal with this.

Maybe I should just stop thinking about it and just tell him? Maybe just rip off the band-aid and get it over with, and whatever happens happens. But I'm scared. What if my mother finds me? What if I'm forced to go back? There's no telling what he'll do to me and there won't be another chance for me to run away. I know I'll be under lock and key.

"Andy," Christian's anxious voice penetrates my thoughts, "I just need to know. I—I need to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Is it just me? Am I going insane? I—I feel like I'm losing my mind! Like everything I've ever known has been a lie. I . . . I just—I don't know what to do." He looks at me with vulnerable, silvery gray eyes and I feel as if I'm being sucked into a black hole, and yet I don't feel myself fighting it.

Maybe I don't have to tell him I'm not a girl. I mean, I do feel the same way, he just doesn't know that his feelings are what he's been feeling all his life, for the opposite sex. _What, so you'd let the poor boy think that he's really gay? How cruel!_ Well I don't know what else to do! At least a partial truth is better than a full out lie!

"I—" I clear my throat when all that really comes out is a croak. "You—you're not going insane, Christian." I look up at him as I feel my heart pound against my chest. I've never admitted my feelings for anyone before. Is it supposed to feel like I'm suffocating? It doesn't help that I'm telling a boy I like him when I'm forced to stuff my underwear in gym just so I don't look suspiciously flat down there through my gym shorts. "I feel the same way."

I watch as emotions pass through his eyes as what I said settles in. Though he still seems a little confused, at least he's smiling. "You do?"

I slowly nod my head and will myself not to blush. "Yes."

His smile fades and a frown pulls at the corners of his mouth. "Have you always been—I mean, uh, um . . ." I try not to laugh as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck as he struggles to ask what he is thinking without sounding like an ass. "When did you know that you, um, had feelings for me?"

I shrug, feeling like, even though in a way I'm still lying to him, at least I can be honest with some things. "The first time I saw you. I didn't understand at first that it was attraction I was feeling toward you, though," I mumble quietly.

He looks at me as if he's seeing me for the first time, then looks away. He's sitting down next to me, his elbows resting on his thighs as his folded hands hang between his legs. I'm not sure if I should say something, so I don't. I don't want to ask the wrong question and give too much away.

"So am I the first boy, who, um, well you know, pounced on you? I mean, uh, well, have you, did you, you know . . . kiss other boys, uh, people, um girls?"

I shake my head. "No. You're my first." For some odd reason this answer makes a smile tug at his lips and I'm not sure what to make of it.

He clears his throat and runs his hands though his hair. "Did you—did you like it? The kiss? I mean was it okay?"

I try to hide my blush but I know it's no use. My body never does what I want it to do. "Yes, but I don't have much to compare it to."

He smiles slightly. "Well I could kiss you again, then you'd have a comparison."

I laugh, but it comes out more like a giggle, and I hope it didn't sound like a little girl to Christian, or a piglet, like _he_ once told me, but as I look at him I can see that's not even close to what he's thinking. His eyes look darker, like a dark thundercloud, and his pupils are dilated. I suddenly feel a shift in the air, I can feel Christian's intoxicating heat caressing my skin. I feel my blood grow thicker through my veins as an odd sensation in my lower belly stirs and I feel a burning sensation in a place I've never felt before. It's not painful, it's a little uncomfortable so much that it makes me shift and I feel a little wetness in my panties. My eyes go slightly wide as I think I've leaked myself, but not much else enters my mind as Christian pounces, like an elegant panther attacking his prey.

His lips mold onto mine, and I'm so surprised I gasp out, giving him eager entrance into my mouth. Oh, God, he really has to stop doing this! I feel his tongue stroke the tip of mine and I shiver a little bit. Oh, God, I hope he doesn't stop doing this!

His lips slowly massage my own and I fall deeper into his pull, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, still on some unconscious level keeping my chest away from his so he doesn't feel that I have mounds, when in reality I'm supposed to have two Almond Joy's in my underwear.

He leans me back on the bed and I go down willing, not yet wanting this new sensation to end. He smells so good, and he tastes even better. He's such a good kisser, or what I imagine a good kisser would be since he's my first. I love the way his lips glide over mine just before his tongue peaks out and touches my bottom lip gently or glides along my tongue.

I feel his hand start to ride up my side, and through the fog, I move my hand to keep him from going past my waist. I can't risk him feeling the differences between our bodies, at least the differences he hasn't already noticed.

He tried to move my hand aside, but I grab his wrist. "Christian, don't do th—"

"Hey, Ana, I just—"

I gasp and sit up as I push Christian away from me when Luke barges into the room. I try to fix my appearance but I know it's pointless as a deep blush paints my entire face red.

"Dude, don't you know how to knock!" Christian yells, getting up and walking toward Luke, as Luke just stares between Christian and me like a fish out of water. "Just because you're friends with Andy doesn't mean you can prance in here—wait, why did you call him Ana?" Christian stops in his tracks and I watch as he slowly looks at me, a deep frown pulling his eyebrows together. He looks back at Luke as he says, "Ana is a girl's name."

"I should go." Luke closes the door and he vanishes just as quickly as he appeared.

Christian turns and gives me his trademarked bemused look. I should probably start getting used to him looking at me like this.

"Andy, why did Luke call you Ana?"

I look at him and take a deep breath as I think what to do. How can I lie to him anymore? What can I say now to make him believe something that is no longer believable? How can I keep kissing him like we just did and continue to let him believe that he's something he's not? I guess I just have to hope for the best and deal with whatever happens.

Looking at him, in my normal full-on girl voice, I say, "Because that's my real name."

 **This is one of the longest chapters of this story I think, and I hope you guys enjoyed it! I'll try to get chapter 19 out this Saturday hopefully.**

 **Thank you all so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! It keeps me updating.**

 **SS &G xoxo**


	19. Kiss and Tell

**Chapter 19—Kiss and Tell**

"W-what do you mean that's your real name?" Christian asks me as he stares at me, looking as if I just told him that I'm a girl that's been dressing as a boy, made him think he was gay and had a full-on make out session with him. Yes, he's looking at me like I'm crazy.

I look away from him, not really sure if I want to see what he's truly thinking. _Well, what were_ you _thinking, you just can't make out with random people!_

"My real name is Anastasia Steele," I tell him quietly, chancing a glance up at him only to find him gaping at me like a teenage boy seeing boobs for the first time.

His shocked expression turns into one of fury, something I wasn't expecting. "You've been a girl this whole time! You let me kiss you and didn't bother to mention that you were a _girl_!" He's really tugging at his hair now, and I fear he may be bald by the end of the day. "How could you let me think I was gay this entire time? Oh, man, I even had my mother lie for me just so I can get away from you for a little bit, only to come back and find out what I was feeling was completely normal and you lied to me! Were you ever even going to tell me, or were you going to let me think I was gay for the rest of my life?"

He glares at me and I avoid his gaze. "I don't know," I answer.

"You don't know!" he screams at me. "Jesus, do you even understand what could have happened, what I could have done . . ." He trails off as he runs his hands down his face and paces about the room. I don't know what I can say at this point that will calm him down. I'm still too scared to tell him the truth but what other reason could I give for telling him I came to this all-boys school dressed like one of them. _I love looking at boys so much I wanted a free access pass to peep shows?_ I'll sound even crazier if I said something like that.

"Why didn't you just tell me you were a girl from the beginning? Why are you even dressed as a boy?" he questions me. "And tell the truth, you know, if you're even capable of doing that."

This time I glare at him. He's making it seem like I came here dressed the way I am with the intentions to seduce him and deliberately make him think he's gay. "Of course I can tell the truth. I get you're upset but there's no need to insult me."

"Insult _you_? I'm the one who should be insulted. You made me question my sexuality!"

"It's not like I did it on purpose!" I yell back at him as I jump to my feet, frustrated that he's continuing to screech at me. "I didn't come here just for _you_ , to lead you on and make you think you were gay. I didn't plan on any of this happening, okay! I never planned to ever be in this position, but there's just things you can't control, and you don't know what to do about it and the one person that you think that is supposed to protect you from all the monsters of the world leads you right into the Devil's den. And stop yelling at me like I did this to you on purpose, that I'm here because I wanted a boy I didn't even _know_ to think he was gay. I have more important things to think about than whether you're gay or not. I have to manage to keep a lie I still have no idea how to pull off going until my father gets home just so I can stay alive and stay sane. So stop being selfish and making everything about you!" And as if my life can't get any worse than what it is now, I burst into tears and flop pathetically onto my bed as I cover my face with hands so he can't see me ugly cry.

I sob into my hands, copious amounts of tears, slobber and snot coating my hands as an overwhelming sense of homesickness overtakes me. I just wish I could go back and live with Ray. I wish I can go back in time and tell him not to volunteer to go to Iraq. I wish my mother actually believed all of the things I told her about her lunatic husband. And I really wish Christian wasn't here as I continue to throw myself a pity party and drown in my sorrows and tears.

I feel the bid dip as he sits down next to me and I bury my face deeper into my hands. I don't want him to see my snot covered, tear stained face and I honestly don't think I want to look at him right now either. If he just controlled his hormones we wouldn't be in this position. _You're one to talk, you wanted it just as bad as he did!_

"Andy, um, I mean, uh, _Ana_ , I—I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were here for a serious reason. You're right I am pretty selfish. And an ass. Really, I'm sorry, please stop crying. I don't know how to comfort crying girls," he admits awkwardly as he rests his hand on my shoulder.

I sit up and turn away from him as I wipe my face on the hem of my shirt, then turn to face the opposite side of the wall with the window, still avoiding eye contact with him. I see him get up out of the corner of my eye and go to the bathroom. He returns a couple moments later with some toilet paper.

Taking it, I say, "Thank you." And wipe my tears away and then wipe my nose. We sit on the edge of my bed quietly, the only sound heard within the room are my hiccups. I gaze out the window and watch as the birds fly through the air, and I find myself a little envious of them. They can come and go anywhere they wanted with a flap of their wings. I wish I had that type of freedom.

"I really am sorry," Christian whispers next to me.

I glance at him from the corner of my eye then looks away as I wipe my nose again. "I know," I whisper back.

"Do you hate me?" he asks, and his voice sounds so uncertain and vulnerable that I can't not look at him anymore.

"Why would I hate you?" I ask with genuine curiosity.

"Well for starters, I was your first kiss—I mean, I didn't even ask you if that's what you wanted I just did it. Oh, shit, I didn't even ask you for permission." His hands find his hair again and start to tug. "I took advantage of you, I'm so sorry, if you want to tell I understand, but—"

"No," I say rather sharply. I look up at him once he stops rambling. "I won't tell anyone. I can't. And if I didn't want to be kissed by you I would have stopped it."

I see the corner of his lips pull up a little, but it happened so fast that I almost missed it before they turn into a frown. "Why wouldn't you tell anyone?"

"Because Principal O'Brien and all the teachers think I'm a boy and I need it to stay that way. They can't find out who I really am."

"Why not?"

I sigh, then turn to look him in the eye. He looks truly curious, but I'm not sure if I can trust him. What if he tells one of his friends, and they tell, and then everyone knows, and then it somehow reaches my mother. She'll come get me and I'll know she'll bring that _thing_ with her. I never want to have to see him again.

I feel a warm hand rest on my fidgeting hands and look up to meet Christian's gaze. "You can trust me. Whatever you tell me, I promise never to tell unless you say it's okay. I would never do that to you."

I stare into his eyes, and with an odd realization, I realize that I do trust him. I think I've always trusted him. I just didn't trust myself.

"If someone realizes I'm a girl and learns what my real name is, or a teacher finds out, my mother will come and get me."

"And that's a bad thing because . . .?"

"She's married to this horrible man. He has said and done horrible things to me."

I feel Christian tense next to me. "Has he . . . touched you?" His question comes out as a growl and I'm not sure if I should answer him or not.

"He's tried to."

"Did you tell your mother that?"

"Yes. She didn't believe me."

"Why not?"

I shrug my shoulders. There's absolutely no way I will ever know why my mother thinks the way she does. I can only hope that when I'm her age and have my own kids, I will never ever be like her.

"You said that you need to stay her until your father comes home. Where is he at?"

"Iraq."

"Does he know you're here?"

I shake my head. "No." Or at least I don't think so. All of his letters that he may have sent will be delivered to my mother's home in Vegas. I doubt I will ever see them. I'm sure they've been burned and tossed by now.

"Did you have any other family you could have gone to?"

"No. And if I did they would have most likely told my mother and she would force me back."

"Why did you run away in the first place?"

I look up at him and try to hide my smile despite his endless inquisitions. "Are you going to keep asking me questions all night?"

He rubs the back of his neck nervously and looks away. "Uh, I'm sorry, I realize this may be a little difficult for you. I'm really screwing this all up, aren't I?" I watch as his hands reach for his hair again, but I gently pull his arms down back to his lap.

"It's okay, I was just teasing you." I give him a small smile to know that I'm not upset with him. "As for your question, my mother's husband cornered me one evening and I don't think his intentions were just to talk to me." I still shiver at the look he gave me as he stalked toward me, a disgusting leer in his eye. "Before he got a chance to do anything, or I got the chance to scream, my world turned dark. I think I passed out or had a panic attack. I don't remember, but I do remember waking up on the floor in the same spot he cornered me in. I told my mom later that night what he did and what I think he was trying to do and she told me to stop being dramatic. I felt pretty hopeless but I knew I couldn't stand to live in that house with him anymore. If he got the chance I think he may have . . . raped me."

Christian doesn't say anything for a moment, but I find myself fascinated by the clicking muscle in his jaw. It's kind of like a homing device in a way, pulling me closer and closer toward him.

"Does your mother live in Washington?"

"No. She lives in Las Vegas."

He frowns. "Why did you choose to come here?"

I shrug. "My father lives in Montesano, and this school isn't too far away. Plus, I thought it would be to my advantage enrolling myself in a school full of boys _if_ my mother were to come looking for me."

"You don't think she's searching for you now?"

"I don't know. Probably not. She's always been selfish and hated having to take care of me. I'm sure she's probably happy I'm no longer a burden to her, but there's always that chance that she would be looking for me, just in case someone questions my disappearance. Though, I'm sure once my father comes home she'll definitely start looking then."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because she's scared my father will stop sending her child support if he realizes she hasn't been taking care of me."

"Which she hasn't been," Christian mutters, and I can hear the disgust in his voice.

We both lapse into silence again, falling back into our own minds as we think about everything I've just said. I take a moment to study Christian and see a deep frown shadowing his eyes. He looks really pensive and I can only wonder what's going through that beautiful mind of his.

I wonder now, since he knows everything, if he'll treat me like the charity case I practically am. Will he still find me attractive? Will he still find me attractive as a girl just as he was when he thought I was a boy? I assume since he was so upset for making him believe that he was gay that he would probably be more attracted to me now that he knows I have the receptacle he prefers.

"I think we should start over," he suggests. When I frown at him he explains, "I mean, I think we got off with the wrong impressions, me more so than you, but I'd like to know you. The real you. Because now that I know you're really a girl, I think I like you even more."

I smile at him. "I like you, too."

He grins at me then holds out his hand. "Hi, I'm Christian Trevelyan-Grey."

I place my hand in his and look into his eyes, smiling slightly as he smiles back at me. "Anastasia Rose Steele."

"Anastasia Rose Steele," he repeats, as if he's testing out my name. He grins at me again. "I like it." I try hard not to but I blush but know my face is burning pink, making him laugh. "I like you blush, too."

I bite my lip to keep myself from grinning wide like a loony-bird. "Thank you."

I gaze back up at him to find him gazing at my lips. He realizes I've caught him looking at my lips as he looks back up at into my eyes. I see the tell-tale changes of desire in his eyes. "Anastasia Rose Steele, I'd really like to kiss you again."

My eyes widen in surprise and I hesitate a moment, wondering if this will be a good idea, but my decision has already been made when I feel myself nod. My acceptance is registered in his eyes, and without hesitation from him he leans and presses his lips against mine. As I begin to kiss him back and feel the warmth of his skin caress mine, I think that I may have made the best decision of my life telling him my secret.

 **I know, I know, this is late but I twisted my ankle and then fell right on it last Saturday, and was busy during the week so I didn't get a chance to update, but I'm working on more chapters!**

 **Thank you to all who have followed and favorited! And thank you for the reviews, your guys comments are so entertaining and I love reading your thoughts.**

 **Hopefully I'll get chapter 20 out sooner rather than laters.**

 **SS &G xoxo **


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